Posted on 07/22/2016 6:37:43 PM PDT by xzins
I was at the basketball courts on the base, and I was climbing up one of the angled backboard poles, hanging upside down like a sloth, and my older brother, who had borrowed a BB gun from a friend, walked over, pressed the barrel into my right butt-cheek, and pulled the trigger.
Now, I was wearing blue jeans, but it felt like someone put out a cigar on my ass! I fell to the ground, my fingers turning white as squeezed my butt as hard as I could.
I don’t care who you are, that hurts!!
Really? How do you know?
OK. The piece was satire and your comment was sarcasm. How am I doing?
I would invite you over to my house and offer you a job, but this is D.C. and I am guessing that the entire forensics capabilities of the FBI, NSA, CIA, and ATF would be devoted to figuring out who shot out the damn street-light outside our bedroom.
At 8 years old when my dad gave me my first Daisy BB gun I can’t begin to tell everyone how happy I was.
Now that I think back on it I can’t believe why both he and I weren’t belittled, persecuted or even arrested because the magazine of that lever action assault rifle held well over a hundred rounds of ammunition.
Shooting in the dark. LOL!
BB bouncing off of a beer can PING!
There are several kids a year killed by pellet rifles. Most are accidents but some are done on purpose.
A little girl near me got shot in the heart around 2 years ago. She fortunately survived but it was touch and go for several days.
“You’ll blow you head off kid!”
Geez - I had one of them when I was a kid sixty plus years ago - used to try to shoot birds with it - until one day when I actually hit a bird and felt so sorry for the poor dead thing that I never shot it again.....
When I was young my mom told me mayonnaise could kill me on a hot day.. but she never told me how. So.. mid July there I sat just staring at the fridge.. waiting..
Cool! Well maybe cold also.
This appears to be a lampoon of an article about firing an AR15, written by someone who really was a little "light in the loafers".
Priceless.
But, you know..
I read an article in the newspaper many years ago saying that mayonnaise had gotten a bad rap and since it contained vinegar it was good about not spoiling.
Whoever wrote that article should have been forced to eat old mayonnaise. I had some which had been in the refrigerator for maybe 6 months and made a sandwich. I remember thinking it tasted a little off but remembered about it not spoiling.
The next day I had case of diarrhea. Not really bad but still the only time in several years. I got out that jar of Kraft Mayonnaise and sure enough, it smelled just a little bit spoiled. I called Kraft and they didn’t even send me a replacement coupon. Now I will not buy theirs or Heinze since they are the same company.
Extreme satire.
... After gearing up with all of the appropriate safety and tactical shooting gear I proceeded to squeeze lightly on the trigger and the resulting pop of firepower is humbling and frightening (even with my specialized ear protection).
..... The recoil of the BB gun bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don't really know what you're doing. I was sweating profusely ..... the BB's disoriented me as they flew out of the barrel. The loud cracks as the BB's were shot — loud like a firecracker — gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable.
.... I think I shall now have to get serious professional counseling for my PTSD and erectile dysfunction caused by the ordeal. It is covered under Obamacare right?
..... The End .....
Fix that by taking him shooting yourself.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.