My dad had a stroke (Update at 82)

Califreak ^ | 4/12/16 | Califreak

[Califreak]

My dad had a stroke 22 years ago that eventually left him permanently disabled.

He had another one Sunday before last. He was in the hospital for three days then they shipped him off to rehab in a nursing home.

I was somewhat concerned because he was already completely disabled on his left side and the most recent incident weakened his right side as well.

While he was at the hospital, I fed him meals a few times. He could feed himself before this happened but he seemed to be having difficulty picking up his sandwich or using a fork or lifting a cup of water.

I think my mom was kind of in denial or shock. Dad wasn't feeding himself. At one point I wondered if something happened to his mind that it just didn't occur to him to pick up the fork or spoon. Hospital staff assured us he could feed himdelf but there was a CNA that came in and fed him. Mom claimed he was milking it. I wasn't too sure about that but didn't want to argue or cause alarm.

[gas_dr]

With all due respect your response is incredibly dangerous and damaging to people struggling with this decision. If you read what was said, the patient himself said he wanted to be DNR. In modern medicine the patient has the autonomous right to determine his outcome. DNR does not mean do not care nor do not treat. Not means do not do CPR. Some of the comments herein are astounding. How can you possibly say that the wife could make a decision at anytime. This is callous and exposes someone who loves this patient to work agains the wishes of the patient and in fact play God. The most horrendous decision a family ever makes is how to continue care. This can't be made at any moment like you say. It should have the input of the patient being cared for. Likewise we are not government shills and operatives of the insurance company. We are professionals who work every day to provide the very best care for our patients independent of payment. Many people don't understand the complex payment situation but as a doctor I have never once stopped to consider what I am getting paid as I make decisions of moving patients to various levels of care.

As for califreak I pray for you and your road ahead. Sometimes strokes continue to evolve and often there are complications. I can't comment if something was missed or not as I was not there. But I pray for your relative and the emotional distress that comes with this. Pray God give you and yours wisdom, healing and peace and His will be done

In the not to distant part of this thread it is likely that morgana and her army will weigh in. Morgana does incredible work for defending innocent life in the womb that can't speak. I pray for her ministry there. But she often gives advice that is flat out wrong and lays guilt on people she thinks is incorrect. Please don't feel bad or guilty. Many people will tell you of glimmers of hope that aren't there and then engages in name calling. Califreak... I am a board certified critical care physician. If you have any questions freepmail me and I am happy to answer privately. Abundant blessings to you.

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

Really sorry you’re going through that. So sad.

[wrench]

“DNR does NOT mean do not treat.

Many people think that DNR means...don’t treat. That is wrong

DNR means....you don’t won’t to be intubated..and compression’s...done on you. Period.”

They are confusing DNR with Hospice care. My mother was having cancer treatment that left her in horrible shape, and dying. The hospital would only release her to a full nursing facility or hospice (unable to feed herself, bed ridden and all but unresponsive).. We chose hospice as they were the only ones that would use the proper amount of pain meds. She recovered, and was kicked out of hospice. That was 2 years ago.

But under hospice, NOTHING is done to prolong life, should any medical event occur. They will not call EMTs for anything. They will treat cuts, scrapes, etc., but that is all. So when I see folks against DNR orders, I believe they think it is a “no treatment” order, and that is not correct.

As to the above advice that you or your family must be the patient’s advocate, this is correct. I have seen several examples of our present health-care industry uninterested in helping folks over 80 that need treatment. The attitude is they have lived their life, and it is time to let them go. I no longer allow these medical “professionals” to make these decisions WRT my family.

[Eagles6]

It's best to have him home in familiar surroundings if at all possible. Look up info on incident delerium.

Prayers.

[Caipirabob]

I am very sorry for up your father and family. Prayers up sir.

[stars & stripes forever]

FATHER GOD,

We praise Your holy Name. GREAT I AM. CREATOR. GREAT PHYSICIAN. Nothing is impossible for You. Your goodness and mercy and Your faithfulness extend to each generation.

Be with Califreak’s father. Give him peace and rest. We ask the HOLY SPIRIT to flow through his body, restoring damaged muscles, brain cells, nerves, heart tissue. Strengthen the afflicted side of his body, increase capacity in his lungs. Renew his body through the resurrection power of JESUS CHRIST, by Whose stripes we were healed.

Comfort Califreaks mother. Bind fear and give her insight how to care for her husband. Bless Clifreak and her family for honoring their father.

We give You all the praise and glory. Thank You for bending down to hear our prayers.

In the name of JESUS CHRIST, GOD’S only SON we pray. Amen.

[combat_boots]

I’m sorry.

[Libertynotfree]

Dont rely on rehab doctor, ask your own doctor to monitor the progress.
If possible, have family taking turn with the patience at all time.

Heath care is no longer the same as before.

One more thing, make sure the foods are not too salty for stroke patient.
I am not a doctor or nurse, but I had care for my family member.

[trebb]

My heart goes out to you and your Mom and my prayers go out for all three of you. May God give you comfort of the knowledge of how, in His world, all works out beyond our wildest dreams when all is said and done. Life can hurt but without the hurt, the joys would be wasted on us. One day, your Dad will have a new and perfect body and will forever rejoice in His loving presence.

[SaraJohnson]

Your dad, mom and you and all your dad’s caretakers are in my prayers.

[Califreak]

That’s what we figured, that it was too soon to say DNR.

Mom felt like she could change her mind if things got really bad. I wasn’t about to push her one way or another.

[Califreak]

Thank you

[Samwell Tarly]

The day before he went into that final respiratory distress, my aunt used her iPhone to do a video chat with my sister. Dad got to see my sister and said a few words to her.

That was the first and last time he ever used a smartphone. He was notoriously distrustful of computers (he said that they hated him, is why he could never figure them out LOL).

We've joked a few times that it took us awhile, but Dad finally joined the rest of us in the 21st century :-)

[Califreak]

Thank you

[Califreak]

Thank you.

[Califreak]

Thank you

[Califreak]

Thank you

[Califreak]

Thank you

[Califreak]

Thank you

[Califreak]

Thank you