Posted on 01/06/2016 8:35:43 AM PST by golux
Last night, following reports of unusual seismic activity in the region, the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea announced it detonated its first hydrogen bomb in an underground test. (...)
North Korea Says It Has Detonated Its First Hydrogen Bomb (...)
The country’s state-run Korean Central News Agency released a statement on the alleged detonation last night and it is everything we’ve come to expect from North Korea: surreal, full of patriotic bravado, rife with allusions to their “Juche†political philosophy of extreme self-reliance, and in bad need of copy editing.
(...)
A few highlights:
“Eye-catching miraclesâ€
“H-bomb of justiceâ€
“the national history spanning 5,000 years in the exciting periodâ€
“the Korean people came to demonstrate the spirit of the dignified nation equipped with the most powerful nuclear deterrentâ€
“The U.S. is a gang of cruel robbers which has worked hard to bring even a nuclear disaster to the DPRKâ€
“Had no adverse impact on the ecological environment†(LOL sure)
“The army and people of the DPRK will steadily escalate its nuclear deterrence of justice both in quality and quantityâ€
“Nothing is more foolish than dropping a hunting gun before herds of ferocious wolvesâ€
“The DPRK, a responsible nuclear weapons state†(Again, LOL sure)
You can read the full statement below. The wording may be funny, but the situation isn’t, especially for the other countries in that sphere—and the U.S.—who must deal with North Korea’s unpredictability and apparent newfound nuclear force. (...)
(Excerpt) Read more at foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com ...
May I suggest running future posts through:
Replace smart quotes with regular straight quotes
http://dan.hersam.com/tools/smart-quotes.html
I would call it the “H-bomb of Justice” if it blew up on them as they tinkered with it.
Always remember, we have Bill & Hillary Clinton to thank for a nuclear-armed North Korea.
South Korea has twice the population and god knows how many times the GDP of North Korea.
Why do U.S. taxpayers still have to pay to keep troops in Korea?
Excellent point.
You are this hour's winner of the internet.
Last night, following reports of unusual seismic activity in the region, the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea announced it detonated its first hydrogen bomb in an underground test. But when you're North Korea, you don't just come out say, “Hey, look what we did.” No, you have to make a deeply bizarre pageant out of everything.
North Korea Says It Has Detonated Its First Hydrogen Bomb (Updated)
A 5.1 magnitude quake was detected about 30 miles from North Korea's Punggye-Ri nuclear test site...
Read more
The country's state-run Korean Central News Agency released a statement on the alleged detonation last night and it is everything we've come to expect from North Korea: surreal, full of patriotic bravado, rife with allusions to their “Juche” political philosophy of extreme self-reliance, and in bad need of copy editing.
As Vox explains, North Korea's statements are “known for their beyond-parody bluster and hyperbole” and flawed English translations, leading to some old-school wacko-bird 1950s Communist lingo updated for the Twitter era. This statement takes all of that to new heights.
A few highlights:
“Eye-catching miracles”
“H-bomb of justice”
“the national history spanning 5,000 years in the exciting period”
“the Korean people came to demonstrate the spirit of the dignified nation equipped with the most powerful nuclear deterrent”
“The U.S. is a gang of cruel robbers which has worked hard to bring even a nuclear disaster to the DPRK”
“Had no adverse impact on the ecological environment” (LOL sure)
“The army and people of the DPRK will steadily escalate its nuclear deterrence of justice both in quality and quantity”
“Nothing is more foolish than dropping a hunting gun before herds of ferocious wolves”
“The DPRK, a responsible nuclear weapons state” (Again, LOL sure)
You can read the full statement below. The wording may be funny, but the situation isn't, especially for the other countries in that sphere—and the U.S.—who must deal with North Korea's unpredictability and apparent newfound nuclear force.
There took place a world startling event to be specially recorded in the national history spanning 5,000 years in the exciting period when all service personnel and people of the DPRK are making a giant stride, performing eye-catching miracles and exploits day by day after turning out as one in the all-out charge to bring earlier the final victory of the revolutionary cause of Juche, true to the militant appeal of the Workers’ Party of Korea (WPK).
The first H-bomb test was successfully conducted in the DPRK at 10:00 on Wednesday, Juche 105 (2016), pursuant to the strategic determination of the WPK.
Through the test conducted with indigenous wisdom, technology and efforts the DPRK fully proved that the technological specifications of the newly developed H-bomb for the purpose of test were accurate and scientifically verified the power of smaller H-bomb.
It was confirmed that the H-bomb test conducted in a safe and perfect manner had no adverse impact on the ecological environment.
The test means a higher stage of the DPRK’s development of nuclear force.
By succeeding in the H-bomb test in the most perfect manner to be specially recorded in history the DPRK proudly joined the advanced ranks of nuclear weapons states possessed of even H-bomb and the Korean people came to demonstrate the spirit of the dignified nation equipped with the most powerful nuclear deterrent.
This test is a measure for self-defence the DPRK has taken to firmly protect the sovereignty of the country and the vital right of the nation from the ever-growing nuclear threat and blackmail by the U.S.-led hostile forces and to reliably safeguard the peace on the Korean Peninsula and regional security.
Since the appearance of the word hostility in the world there has been no precedent of such deep-rooted, harsh and persistent policy as the hostile policy the U.S. has pursued towards the DPRK.
The U.S. is a gang of cruel robbers which has worked hard to bring even a nuclear disaster to the DPRK, not content with having imposed the thrice-cursed and unheard-of political isolation, economic blockade and military pressure on it for the mere reason that it has differing ideology and social system and refuses to yield to the former’s ambition for aggression.
The Korean Peninsula and its vicinity are turning into the world's biggest hotspot where a nuclear war may break out since they have been constantly stormed with all nuclear strike means of the U.S. imperialist aggressor troops, including nuclear carrier strike group and nuclear strategic flying corps.
While kicking up all forms of economic sanctions and conspiratorial “human rights” racket against the DPRK with mobilization of the hostile forces, the U.S. has made desperate efforts to block its building of a thriving nation and improvement of the people's living standard and “bring down its social system”.
The DPRK’s access to H-bomb of justice, standing against the U.S., the chieftain of aggression watching for a chance for attack on it with huge nukes of various types, is the legitimate right of a sovereign state for self-defense and a very just step no one can slander.
Genuine peace and security cannot be achieved through humiliating solicitation or compromise at the negotiating table.
The present-day grim reality clearly proves once again the immutable truth that one’s destiny should be defended by one’s own efforts.
Nothing is more foolish than dropping a hunting gun before herds of ferocious wolves.
The spectacular success made by the DPRK in the H-bomb test this time is a great deed of history, a historic event of the national significance as it surely guarantees the eternal future of the nation.
The DPRK is a genuine peace-loving state which has made all efforts to protect peace on the Korean Peninsula and security in the region from the U.S. vicious nuclear war scenario.
The DPRK, a responsible nuclear weapons state, will neither be the first to use nuclear weapons nor transfer relevant means and technology under any circumstances as already declared as long as the hostile forces for aggression do not encroach upon its sovereignty.
There can neither be suspended nuclear development nor nuclear dismantlement on the part of the DPRK unless the U.S. has rolled back its vicious hostile policy toward the former.
The army and people of the DPRK will steadily escalate its nuclear deterrence of justice both in quality and quantity to reliably guarantee the future of the revolutionary cause of Juche for all ages.
Juche Korea will be prosperous forever as it holds fast to the great WPK’s line of simultaneously pushing forward the two fronts.Oy.
Oh, NO! Herself has her finger on the North Korean H-Bomb technology?
How did this happen? And can we get to happen again? Well, maybe only if Herself gets elected to the third term of the Current Occupant.
In fairness to both Iran and North Korea I can appreciate their perspective. Saddam Hussein and Moammar Khaddafi played along with the USA’s demands that they not pursue a nuke and look how that worked out for them.
Were I a dictator of a country that was not popular with the USA I’d definitely pursue nukes because that’s the only way to assure one’s security if the DC regime suddenly decides you “have to go” as they did with Assad.
One explanation I’ve heard (many years ago) is “To keep the South Koreans from going north”.
I believe that while the rhetoric is mostly directed at the USA, which is “traditional” - China has much more to fear from a DPRK nuke, and China and Kim both know it.
The USA can do little against Kim. China, on the other hand, could strangle his economy and food supply. China could have 1 million soldiers on the border within weeks if they want to really get tough. China probably has agents placed throughout his government. At what time do they get fed up and stage a coup?
Amazing that America keeps shoveling money in to NK and kissing the little ugly fatso’s ass.
Hey, Obozo. There are weapons of mass destruction in NK.
One thing that President Trump and Vice-President Cruz will do is to cut off all money to foreign nations that continually spit in our face.
Poland, Hungary, Israel.......Is that all there is?
You are spot-on.
Khaddafi especially - Clinton joked about his death, implying she had him assassinated for sport. And the subsequent chaos and destruction of Libya in Jihadi-gang chaos almost seemed to be part of Obama and Clinton's plan.
H-bomb of justice... Is that from the same Arsenal as the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?
Iran has a lot of oil as well. They probably actually do need nukes to defend themselves from SA and Israel (and others) who want it. North Korea, not so much.
Seismic recordings say no bomb.
Isn't that the symbol for the Euro? :)
Why do we have to keep paying for troops in Europe? It's because the Euroweenies can't seem to manage their own affairs without a mean babysitter.
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