"We stuck it to the thieves! Drink up!" "We stuck it to the thieves! Drink up!"
A 21st century version of "The Sting", but with dog-poop ...Aren’t they supposed to be playing poker?
“Packaged Pooch-Poop Penalizes Porch Pirates”
Somebody’s a frustrated headline writer for Variety.
In today’s America, people will steal anything that isn’t bolted down. And to think, within the lifetimes of many of us, Americans didn’t lock their doors, they left their car keys in their cars, kids left their bicycles outside, etc. Our country is going down the tubes so quickly.
I see what they did there...
A buddy of mine back in high school used to buy cheap womens purses at Goodwill or Salvation Army. He would fill them with dog poop or road kill and leave the purses on a sidewalk and watch the hilarity from a safe distance. A car would slow down, the driver or passenger would look around and if no one was watching, would get out and grab the purse. The car would slowly roll halfway down the street and suddenly the purse would go flying out the window!
We had an attempted package porch thief this year but a neighbor run them off.
Which packages are they taking?
FedExlax? United States Poopstal Service? United Parcel Sh!t?
People ought to add “glitter bombs” to the packages.
Sounds like a little effort by the police could pay off here. It’s highly likely that a small band of thieves are the ones doing most of these thefts. They could easily be caught in the act if they were to set up a stakeout. They are probably teenagers or very young adults, not masterminds just stupid petty thieves and you can bet they live in the area.
I did something like this some 25-30 years ago. I didn’t think it was a new idea back then either.
Note to Ms. Millerbernd: We don’t stoop to using the word ‘stoop’ to designate a porch out here. And we don’t say ‘spicket’ either!
There was a post the other day about Arcadia, CA. The cops there are putting GPSing bait boxes to thin the herd of Obama voters acting stupidly.
Not so big a problem here in Rural Nevada....
However, I have 2 dogs & 2 horses.
I could really fill up a box!!!!
It is absolutely insane up here. The thieves are following the delivery trucks and just taking every package. The other day an entire Amazon van was stolen. Some neighbors have video cams and they’ve shown the thieves, well dressed, nice cars. This is like never before, so bold and mean.
DogByte! I’ve been searching for that movie forever. Do you know the name of it?
Best regards for a Merry Christmas,
Some white-trash female thief was recently caught in the act in Wichita with a carload of other people’s packages.
I think I’ll hire Anton Chigurh and solve the problem once and for all.
A local pub I used to frequent had a sheet metal urinal. The big game was to put a dollar bill in it and catch whoever stole it. Four or five guys would take turns going in after a newcomer went in. You’re right! It didn’t take much to amuse us. That GIFF could have been made in that dive.
It's a felony....but you have to catch them.
Very BIG problem in the town I live in....according to the USPS here.
Leave it on the Poop Deck, mates!