Posted on 11/09/2015 4:51:21 PM PST by sparklite2
How to choose the best queue:
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
“I use a credit card to pay at the grocery store.
I would use a credit card to pay my utility bills and my mortgage but thos b*st*rds won’t take it.
They want authorization to draw directly on my bank account, which they won’t ever get while my lungs contain air.
So I pay all my monthly bills by check. “
EXACTLY what I was going to post.
.
That’s about the way of it. I’ve said for years that it will take longer if you get in line behind an old person with 2 items than behind a young person with a full cart.
I’ve noticed that too, but attribute it to the “a watched pot never boils” saying
... as evidenced by what happens when you do change lanes and people who were behind you in the old line start passing you.
hahahahahahaha, sorry
I’m a man and I know why, we just want get the hell out of there as fast as possible.”
Well I’m not a man and I hate to stop for anything, including groceries. If I could afford it, I would have all my groceries delivered. Was in Kroger on Saturday at 6 a.m. One lady in the only line that was open and I was behind her. She spent at least fifteen extra minutes checking out her list on her cell phone against her printed list, then she had to do another download to check her coupon list and then check the amount charged by the check-out clerk to make sure she got all her coupon discounts. I finally said “Good Grief”. Told the clerk they needed to make sure the self-service checking machines were open all the time.
Avoid any line you see me in, it’s going to be the slowest in the whole store. I have an uncanny knack for picking them.
It’s easy. Pick up the Enquirer and find out how Jennifer Aniston’s 435 week pregnancy is doing. As soon as you start reading, your turn to check out arrives.
They suddenly realized they have to text someone or even check something online. That is what they are doing when they aren’t getting going. Sometimes they are searching for the destination on gps.
“Why do all the other supermarket checkout queues always move faster than yours?”
Easy. Because, after selecting the optimal line using a sophisticated multivariate model based on decades of line-selecting experience, including multiple factors such as the number of items the person(s) in line in front of you, the speed of the checker and optional packer, and whether all is going fast and smoothly, then one or more of the following always suddenly happens:
1. Unpriced item. Runner has to be engaged and dispatched to go check the price manually.
2. Customer disputes price of an item putatively on sale. Big powwow of various managers and supervisors ensues.
3. Customer who can’t speak English is unable to get SNAP or debit card to work, even after MANY tries. Big powwow of various managers and supervisors ensues.
4. Old lady writes a check, but doesn’t start filling out a single field until the cash register is totaled, and THEN proceeds to laboriously enter check information into check register.
5. Receipt machine runs out of paper tape and cashier has extreme difficulty in reloading it and making it work correctly. Big powwow of various managers and supervisors ensues.
6. Cashier runs out of change and has to wait for manager to make a delivery.
7. Customer discovers they don’t have enough money and has to sort through what items to buy and what to leave behind.
8. Faulty item discovered such as broken eggs or moldy oranges and runner has to be engaged and dispatched for exchange.
9. Shift change for cashier resulting in exchange of cash drawers, reinitialization of register, etc. Big powwow of various managers and supervisors ensues.
10. Cashier rings up wrong price and/or wrong number of items but flubs the fix and has to call for a manager. Big powwow of various managers and supervisors ensues.
11. Cashier talks customer into signing up for loyalty card and customer holds up line for several minutes filling out the form.
12. Customer pays cash with large numbers of small bills and lots of confusion during the various counting and recounting operations.
God is punishing you for making the speed of the line your top priority.
I hate it when the person in front pulls out dozens of coupons to check out!
Is that some sort of euphemism?
In line yesterday, one woman was just about done, the next woman had only a couple of items. Great, I thought, this will be fast.
Nope. Those two ditzes had to have a long conversation with the checkout girl.
I switched lines and was out before their conversation ended.
Self-service, definitely. Still faster, even though the gormless clods have discovered it.
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