Down With Spooning!

Slate ^ | November 4, 2015 | J. Bryan Lowder

[C19fan]

At the end of this past summer, I dropped my partner off for a year of dissertation work in Spain. On the flight back, I decided that if I was going to make it through this period of lame but ultimately necessary physical separation, I would need to get a handle on my emotions. (This became acutely apparent after an in-flight viewing of Pixar’s Inside/Out that left me sobbing over my complimentary plastic cup of vino rojo.) Because I am a Virgo or Type A or whatever, I tried to divide the unwieldy mass of sadness I was feeling into specific things I would miss, the goal being to then soberly evaluate whether each was really worth feeling sad about. Among the list—physical intimacy, cooking for two—one emerged that seemed fairly legitimate: sleeping together, and in particular all the pre-slumber snuggling and cuddling that’s supposed to entail.

[greene66]

That’s when the term “spooning” had a rather different meaning.

[IronJack]

Fag alert! WOOP WOOP! Class One fag alert! Keep your back to the wall!

[Billthedrill]

I’d ask the author about forking in bed but let’s be honest, I really don’t want to hear it.

[anymouse]

[RansomOttawa]

Come see the semiotic violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being caressed!

[Dr. Sivana]

When I read teh excerpt, I assumed it was the writings of an overly introspective woman. A creature with XY chromosones wrote this crap?! And he used the masculine pronoun when describing a partner? EEEEEEEEE-EWWWWWW!

I am so glad my wife and I don't have Marxism as the philosophical underpinnings of our marriage. Awful!

[HartleyMBaldwin]

Now that’s funny.