Posted on 05/25/2015 6:58:50 PM PDT by rickmichaels
In this still-fragile financial climate, some women might have chosen to hide the Chanel shopping bag from their budget-conscious better halves. With mortgages to pay and family holidays to save up for, it’s still not quite the done thing to blow half your bonus on something as frivolous as a pair of shoes (in this case a seductively glistening pair of Chanel ballet pumps in a classic French navy that I’d coveted for months), even if the bonus is something you have worked your socks off for.
But, instead of surreptitiously stuffing the shoes in the back of the wardrobe, I proudly displayed the results of my splurge to my husband, safe in the knowledge that he’d approve. After all, he’s the one who decided how much my bonus should be – and he’s the one who paid it. This year, as for almost all of the five years we’ve been married, I’m the grateful recipient of a “wife bonus” – and proud of it.
I’m part of a tribe of women uncovered by social researcher Wednesday Martin in her book Primates of Park Avenue — about well-to-do mothers in Manhattan — who, while not going out to work in an office or for a company, still receive a bonus from their husband at the end of the financial year as a sign of appreciation for services rendered.
But while the “Park Avenue primates” have been pilloried for supposedly receiving a cash reward based on how well they have balanced the domestic books, enhanced their husbands’ careers by networking adeptly and aggressively, and kept them satisfied socially and sexually, I believe that receiving a bonus for being a good wife is nothing to be ashamed of.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.nationalpost.com ...
couple of tings came to mind.
It’s not the initial cost, it’s the upkeep.
and
We’ve already established what you are, we’re just hagglin on the price.
People, all over the world, live in their own subsets of "culture", which have their own different ways, dress, interests, etc.!
The author of the book, which the author of this article is writing about, moved from the West Village, in NYC to the Upper East Side of NYC. Shed was shocked, SHOCKED, that these women, all of whom had graduated from elite colleges were stay at home moms, more interested in their kids, than having a job. She wrote her book as one would an anthropological thesis/study/book. She wanted to belong and have her son belong, so changed her ways. Now she lives on the Upper West Side and has changed her ways, yet again, but sort of misses things from her days on the UES.
You'll find women like the ones she wrote about all over this country in cities and wealthy suburbs. It's "herd mentality"; just as are the dress, language, interests,and behaviors of other subsets are.
Not true.
You just don’t understand it.
NONSENSE.
Back when I was married and working, I’d bring home the paycheck and give it to my wife. She did all the family finances.
Only rule we had is: if it costs more than $100 we had to agree on it.
Ahh... “the good old days” :)
We don’t know the extent of their wealth, but it seems that the husband here is in a field (probably finance, stock market) where at the end of the year, HE gets a bonus. He allocates X% for her splurge. From the bonus he likely allocates a % for his own splurge. Probably the rest is on the family’s splurge (vacation, summer home, new boat, whatever).
If you’re wealthy enough, you have a money manager, who might handle ALL the family’s finances, or who sets up a budget to give the wife $x/month to pay the mortgage or rent, household expenses, staff, kids’ tuitions, etc., etc., etc.
I don’t live in that sphere, but have known some who do. The ‘bonus’ is not an insult, it’s not demeaning nor meant to be demeaning. It’s a gift for a job well done appreciated. And its amount seems to depend on HIS bonus at his job.
Eight years along, our initial arrangement stands; she gets a fixed cut of my variable paycheck, for which she need not account to me. All she needs do is ensure that we never hit a mealtime with a bare fridge/pantry. She has gotten a couple of raises, every time I got a substantial one.
If I get a bonus or a large tax refund (which happens because of the variability in my pay) she gets a piece. I don't know if that counts as this "wife bonus" thing or not-- it isn't tied to performance.
My responsibility is to make sure no bill goes unpaid and that debt remains low. Any extra I have after paying he cut and paying the bills is mine.
So far, so good...
That’s good advice. To the single men, I’d recommend marrying a woman that can be made happy.
In your scenario, a third party money manager, it would make more sense.
But, even if it’s just her husband who doles out the allotment..... if it works for them, and they stay married with an intact family....more power to them. Everyone is different.
It sounds like more a terminology issue - if a homemaker does a good, efficient job at managing the household, it seems fair enough that she should be able to use some of the savings that result from that as "mad money" - it's a reward for doing her job well, and those frivolous expenses become easier to contain if times get lean.
In essence, it treats running the household like running a business, which isn't necessarily a bad way of looking at it.
The #1 birth control device has been proven to be wedding cake.
Yep, there is nothing like marrying the love of your life, the most beautiful, sexy woman in existence, at the peak of her youthful beauty, and discovering that by marrying her, your sex life is suddenly over, yet now you have to sleep with the object of your desire in the same bed, and watch her undress every night.
Marriage is weird in that way.
Any tipping for “special services”?
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