My first long term relationship was with a woman who was sharp and witty. She was a national merit scholar, went to NASA space camp and shared my hobbies of electronics and gaming.
After things fell apart I decided that intellect is good but that kindness (not just to you but also to the people around them) is a better indicator of the potential for a lasting marriage.
Mrs BN's looks caught my eye, but her kindness to others, especially those who needed a friend, was what caused me to make a deeper evaluation. That, and her decisiveness and level head during a minor security crisis at the women's dorm at college.
After than, during a nice lunch at "The Pickle Barrel" restaurant in Old Town, Chicago, I ran down my mental check list of requirements for a girl to be considered as "wife potential". After checking off about 6 or 7 items, I decided, "I really need to get to know this one better!"
45 years later, I'm still getting to know her better!
Yep. As Dr. Laura says, “Choose wisely, treat kindly”. I’ve learned to be more kind over the years and my husband appreciates it.
...”kindness (not just to you but also to the people around them) is a better indicator of the potential for a lasting marriage.”
That’s exactly right! For both genders. Kindness trumps everything else.