Posted on 05/24/2015 2:03:01 PM PDT by nickcarraway
he melee started, it seems, with a meme. The photo was of an innocuous scene, one that many are anticipating this Memorial Day weekend: hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill. It was the caption that set everything off.
It read: “Soooo you are at a barbecue. Your man is hungry. He lets you know he is hungry, but you are not the kind of woman to go around fixing plates for a man, so you ignore him. A random woman hears this and says, ‘I will fix his plate.’ She sashays away and comes back with a plate for your man. Do you have any problems with this?”
The answer should have been simple: Yes, this is a problem. One, why is a hungry, fully functional grown man acting incapable of fixing his own plate? Two, why is he acting like his plate is his woman’s job to tend to? Three, who is this crazy woman who doesn’t know him or me from Adam and Eve, who takes it upon herself to do something as intimate as fix his plate?
Maybe the conversation started off civil, but by the time I stumbled into it, all hell had broken loose. In 2015, social media devolved into a full-fledged debate over whether it was a woman’s duty to fix her man a plate. ... And a surprising number of the answers were “yes.”
Black women’s new mandatory requirements: Stay black. Die. Fix a man’s plate.
(Excerpt) Read more at theroot.com ...
This is a debate?! We’ve always followed the “while you’re up” rule. Sometimes I fix her plate, sometimes she fixes mine, sometimes we’re on our own. People get too hung up on stupid crap.
I’m a long-married woman. I would love to “fix a plate” for my husband anytime, knowing that there is many a widow out there who would give anything to “fix” her husband’s plate even once again. Our time together is precious and fleeting. People tie themselves into knots over things like this, but in marriage, we are to serve each other in Christ. Anyway, I’m pretty sure my husband would be glad to “fix” a plate for me, too, if I asked. If we both “fixed a plate for the other, then we could swap plates at the end of the buffet line and be happy with what we had to eat!
Hey I help with the housework. I lift my feet so that the daughter can vacuum under the sofa
“something as intimate as fixing his plate...”
That is just weird, imho. Fixing a plate is intimate? Alrighty then.
It goes both ways..sometimes one or another is hemmed in at the table and the other gets up and fixes both plates..it just shouldn’t be a one way street.
Last night we had dinner a group and the man..93 next to me got up and got plates for himself and his girlfriend...85. She was deep in conversation and they had waited for the line to clear out.
My observation is that a lot of people feel powerless and hopeless these days. Sometimes, when I'm driving, I will see someone standing by the side of the road, waiting to cross. If traffic is heavy, I may stop and let them walk across.
In a great many cases, they. walk. as. slowly. as. they. can.
I see this as a statement: "I have no power or control in my life, but right now, I have power over you. Because you can't drive your damn car right now, can you? I'm blocking you. I'm walking here. I'm calling the shots.
The question of Who will fix my man's plate? It seems to be "who has control?" It turns out everyone demands control in one way or another. I think it is a symptom of a society in which everyone is scared and hopeless and feeling out of control. "I may be afraid of what will happen to the world tomorrow, but gosh darn it, I will make damn sure that no one but me fixes my man's plate!!!!"
“We’ve always followed the “while you’re up” rule.”
My dad was big on that too, the only problem was he always managed to say it at the exact second my mother would sit down!
Good grief. With all the serious damage to our Constitution, society and country going on, people are arguing about crap like this?
To me, this a simple expression of love, kindness and consideration. I would not ask my wife to ‘fix me a plate’ unless I was exhausted, not feeling well or injured. And she would do it, happily. Even if I was just feeling fine. I would do the same for her, for any reason under the sun. We enjoy doing things for one another.
As for someone outside the family making such an offer, I don’t have an problem with that, either. My answer would be either ‘No, thanks’ or ‘Thank you - that’s very kind of you!’
I only have an issue if someone is chronically lazy or demanding. Those people need to learn to do things for themselves. Others deserve consideration and occasional acts of kindness.
I fix Mr. GG2’s plate all the time. He’s the most handsome, charming gunslinger on the planet at far as I’m concerned and you can just call me Miss Kitty. :-)
Good grief, why would a man or a woman choose to be around such miserable company as to feel that preparing food for a loved one is demeaning. Many consider me to be an outstanding chef when I cook and there is no greater reward than to see someone enjoy a dish you prepared especially for them.
My wife would say to the other lady, “No...let him get it, himself.”
By then however, I would have been moving to do it myself, while saying “I am fine, I’ll get it myself.”
Especially in public, I am in harmony with my wife of 47 years, and she with me. We don’t embarrass each other or ourselves. To do so would be disrespectful, and trashy low-life-like.
If you have been married for any length of time, and would engage in childlike games with the other woman, get ready for results you may not like.
People like her want to stir up trouble, so they can be in the middle of it.
lol
“but you are not the kind of woman to go around fixing plates for a man, so you ignore him.”
Glad I’m not a broad, sheesh. I can do what ever I want. BBQ last weekend. Food went up. Grabbed two plates and piled them up. Big friggin’ deal.
There’s a woman’s car with a flat tar. Her man don’t wanna change it. No reason she can’t change that tar. Another man offers to change that tar. Now there’s a new buddy. Plus it frees her up to go fix your plate.
If I fixed my husband’s plate it would have far more salad
and a lot less meat...much to his chagrin.
When my sister and I were much younger we noticed the women fixing the plates for the husbands at weddings and graduation parties. It looked more expected than appreciated and it ended with their generation.
Why is mowing the lawn automatically the man’s job. Why is taking the car to the shop, fixing broken things around the house, and taking out the trash. Two can play at this game and I always make the dinner too. How about we don’t view every problem in the world as the fault of men?
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