No the states joined the union voluntarily and wanted out. They would have had to make economic adjustments because owning slaves is wrong and dealing in human flesh is despicable. The central government forced them to stay. Very dictator-like.
States have rights recognized in the our founding documents. Fedgov has enumerated powers. This fight is far from over.
No, the south mounted an armed insurrection and the north reacted defensively. "They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind".