Of course these days one or the other of them would have been sued for infringement!
Pursuant to Title 17 of the United States Code
February 29, 2015
Steve Rossi and Martin Allen
118 Steve Allen Drive
Beverley Hills, California 90210
Dear Mr.s Rossi and Allen:
This law firm represents Martini and Rossi. If you are represented by legal counsel, please direct this letter to your attorney immediately and have your attorney notify us of such representation.
We are writing to notify you that your unlawful copying of Martini and Rossi's unique name and bottle shape infringes upon our client’s exclusive copyrights. Accordingly, you are hereby directed to
Martini and Rossi is the owner of a copyright in various aspects of snappy advertising and delicious adult beverages. Under United States copyright law, Martini and Rossi’s copyrights have been in effect since 1879. All copyrightable aspects of Martini and Rossi are copyrighted under United States copyright law.
It has come to our attention that you have been copying our client's unique name. We saw you on The Ed Sullivan Show last night, so don't deny it. You can't hide: it was a really big shoe. Er, show. We have transcripts of your comedy routines which directly impinge upon the seriousness with which potential customers regard our client's image and products.
Your actions constitute copyright infringement in violation of United States copyright laws. Under 17 U.S.C. 504, the consequences of copyright infringement include statutory damages of between $750 and $30,000 per work, at the discretion of the court, and damages of up to $150,000 per work for willful infringement. If you continue to engage in copyright infringement after receiving this letter, your actions will be evidence of “willful infringement.”
In addition, when either the short fat Jewish kid, or both of the two of you stand with your legs close together, your general outline resembles the shape of our cleint's popular Asti Spumante bottle. This constitutes the use of our client's image without consent. If you continue to stand this way in your stand-up routine, we will not stand for it.
We demand that you immediately (A) cease and desist your unlawful use of our client's copyrighted name and unique shape and (B) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further infringement of Martini and Rossi’s copyrighted works.
If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, Martini and Rossi is entitled to use your failure to comply as evidence of “willful infringement” and seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your copyright infringement. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised that Martini and Rossi has asked us to communicate to you that it will contemplate pursuing all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable. Although all publicity is good publicity.
We demand also that you refrain from using the names Joseph Charles Tafarella or Morton David Alpern, as our client has exclusive rights to these names for use in a series of table wines to be released next year. In addition, we also demand that you stop using the phrase "Hello Dere!" which is frequently used in bars and other establishments where alcoholic beverages, including without limitation, our client's are served. Before taking these steps, however, my client wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days. Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Agreement within ten (10) days to
Stevens, Allen, Martin and Ross
Attorneys at Law
298 E. 71st St. New York City, NY, 10021
If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly.
Sincerely,
Spumante Stevens, Esq.