Posted on 02/07/2015 8:08:11 AM PST by PROCON
Looks like Congress will be gearing up to pass a bill to ban all slow cookers. These weapons of mass destruction are a Islamic terrorists favorite for creating a messy bomb with, to kill groups of people and inflict social terrorism. And now, the slow cooker has been used to stamp out Christian conservatives when speaking out against those who destroy our nation from within. Local law enforcement will be offering “cash for crock-pots” to remove these WMDs from home kitchens. After all, who under 50 uses pressure cookers anyhow?
It was I who snuck through the kitchens here in Geezerville, soldering closed the safety valves on the pressure cookers in the messy (but Gluten-Free) kitchens of left-over Loonie Left hippies and the odd beatnik.
So far I regret to report that there have been no explosions, just a burned-out tea-kettle or two. Until I read it on FReep, I was unaware of the vicious lethality of the crock pot, which is now technically called "The Crock-Waffen.". The crusted on chili under the rim can make the wounds inflicted septic, with immediate fatal effect. Plus, the better crock pots (the ones with flowery decorations) can be twirled on their power cords to gain velocity and distance. Think Hammer-Throw.
I am unclear as to whether the Crock-Waffen should be full of casserole or other trailer-park goodie when deployed in combat. Please advise before next raid.
” Tawana be defending the honour and good name of Barry-O, the most wonderful”
Oh, THAT what she be doin? OK. I withdraw my LOL.
” My Attorney, Algonquin J. Calhoun, Esq.”
A good man....I know his BIL, Sen Foghorn Leghorn. This here litigation should be a slam dunker !
“A good man....I know his BIL, Sen Foghorn Leghorn. “
That be the family!
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