The Most Annoying People on the Plane starring Sir Patrick Stewart

YouTube ^ | January 14, 2015 | Jimmy Kimmel Live

[Dr. Sivana]

Also, I’m not a fan of Shatner’s acting style anyway—any wonder why he’s the butt of many jokes?

He's fine with it, as long as you spell his name right. Shatner is a ham, who does best PLAYING hams, like Capt. Kirk.

[Dr. Sivana]

If Picard was “Everything By the Book”. he should have allowed the execution of Wesley Crusher on the Pleasure Planet. I’ll never forgive him for that.

[bicyclerepair]

Leaving Ted Stevens airport in Anchorage, our incoming plane was 3 hrs late. UGH.

Saw an army chaplain and a half doz military guys over in the corner. Went over and joined them. Listened to the military chaplain for 3 hrs that flew by like nothing.

You try being 5’18” on any plane and see how you like it.
(that’s 6’6” for those in rio linda)
Every flight is MISERABLE.

[aomagrat]

I had a woman who was so large she couldn’t fit in the seat with the center arm rest down sit next to me. I spent three hours squished against the side of the plane.

[Secret Agent Man]

hell both broke the prime directive all the damn time, there wouldn’t be a show without it. only kirk didn’t sit around losing sleep about it.

[Cowgirl of Justice]

I was a flight attendant for many years and when I was first starting out at my first airline, I was taking a very late flight home after a brutal 4 day trip. The plane was full and I took a seat beside a distinguished gentleman and fell asleep. When we began our descent, I started to awaken. I was mortified to find that not only was my head on his shoulder, but my hand was in his lap, ‘cupping’ him!!!!! I never got the impression that he enjoyed it but, rather, realized it was done innocently on my part. He never said a word and neither did I, we both deplaned and went our separate ways.

I think his name was Laz something...

[justlurking]

I think his name was Laz something...

So, you hit (on) Laz?

[ClearCase_guy]

[pieceofthepuzzle]

My worst passenger experiences have involved vomiting... On one flight there was a guy sitting a few rows in back of me who was obviously drunk. I remember thinking that if and when he got up to go to the bathroom it was going to be interesting. Well, he got up, stumbled down the aisle, looking green, and then fell into my row. Thankfully, he didn't vomit at that point, but waited until he got to the bathroom a few rows further ahead. He vomited all over the bathroom and it had to be closed for the rest of the flight.

On another flight there was a guy sitting across from me (I was in the aisle seat on the left, he was in the aisle seat on the right). The flight had been delayed for several hours, and I suspect he had been drinking in the airport. As we were taxiing he started asking for a vomit bag, and then lurched into the aisle (right next to me) and started the first of several episodes of vomiting into successful vomit bags.

We taxied for quite awhile, while the flight crew assessed whether he was going to be all right, and then the pilot made an announcement that he and the co-pliot had ‘timed-out’ (too many consecutive working hours) because of the delay, and so we had to go back to the gate and wait for a replacement crew. Finally got to our intended location, but the car rental place was closed.. Everything ended up great, but what a beginning to that trip....

[golux]

I read a great book about a Northwestern pilot that got busted for being a drunk pilot but finally put his life back together and regained his job at Northwest. Never forgot that... What a roll of the dice it is. These guys used to be wasted at 4am, get up at 6am for 0630 flights, and their biggest concern was whether the flight attendants could smell the alcohol steaming off them in the cockpit.

[pieceofthepuzzle]

“These guys used to be wasted at 4am, get up at 6am for 0630 flights, and their biggest concern was whether the flight attendants could smell the alcohol steaming off them in the cockpit.”

Scary.. A flight attendant once told me that she and the flight crew used to sit in the cockpit and ‘take hits of oxygen’ to help with their hangovers..

[elcid1970]

I remember a Continental flight where the male flight attendant was as funny as Robin Williams, dropping one liners one after another about what people hate about flying. A real hoot that made the flight go by faster.

A woman asked him if he missed being away from his wife. He replied he wasn’t married. When she pointed to the band on his ring finger he replied,

“Oh, that? That’s my `fag deflector’! Lots of fags in this business & I’m straight, so I wear this to ward them off. My girlfriend hates it, wants to know when I’ll wear it for real!”

[MaxMax]

Fat people with fat hips squeezed under the armrest and against your leg.
And a soaking wet pant leg from their sweat. 5-hour leg of that from ORF to RNO.

[txhurl]

Recall coming back from Saudi— and some of these “imams” in First Class immediate to wheels up, started sucking down the Jack Daniels, and spouting out in oxford college accents. Really annoying. Asked him how come they drank— answer” Allah can not see us” . Honest to God— a skating puke religion if there ever was one.

---

Thanks. Second strange islamo fact I’ve learned in a week: the first was they believe they won’t be going to see Allah if a female shoots them.

If they think Allah is confined to the lower atmosphere.. then allah is Satan’s minion(s). So if they suffer a heart attack in the cabin, do they still get to see allah?

[FunkyZero]

that is absolutely hilarious. Same thing with this Japanese girl. I just kinda smiled and let it go, but the slobber all over my chest grossed me out big time. I actually kinda felt bad for her, she looked completely exhausted.

[Ditter]

I sat in front of 2 men on a flight from DC to Houston. The men tried to outdo each other by bragging about their huge homes in rich neighborhoods, fancy cars, and other possessions. They talked about the country clubs they belong to, the art that hung in their fancy homes, the vacations they had been on and all that kind of stuff. It went on and on and on, I was so sick of listening to them brag I was about to scream SHUT THE F UP!

Then the conversation took a turn, they started talking about the rich and influential people that they knew. I didn't know any of those people....... until finally I heard a name I knew.............. I was about to hear some gossip about someone that I didn't care much for........ It must have been bad because after practically shouting for an hour ........ their voices turned into whispers and I couldn't hear a word!

[GBA]

[GBA]

[cpdiii]

I was on a long haul flight British Caladonia, and trying to get some sleep. The lady behind me (at 300+ lbs) keep hitting the back of my seat and then complained to the stewardess that I would not raise my seat.

The English stewardess came to me and explained, “she is rather portly sir.” I explained to the Stewardess that not only was she portly she was an “obnoxious demanding pig and I just want to get some sleep.” The stewardess leaned over and whispered in my ear, “aren’t they all sir, come with me.” She put me up in First Class.

[mylife]

Bwaaahahaaa!

Many good journeys brother.