Posted on 12/27/2014 7:38:55 AM PST by Altariel
Yes,I’ve been around several. An infant’s primary tactile instrument is its mouth.
You model the problem.
Nowhere did I state nor imply that there are no bad parents. HOWEVER, you imply that because there are SOME bad parents, ALL parents are suspect by default.
Thank you for making the true problem crystal clear.
Well there is that, the bad parents have made it bad for rest.
But I remember kids coming to school when I was a kid all whipped up welted up by their mothers, with a wire hanger and other stuff, telling stories about being dragged down the stairs by the hair, it was truly horrifying. My upbringing was bad, being routinely knocked down by a parent, parents using shoes, melamine plates, metal spatulas, being pushed, thrown, etc. I actually thought it was normal, that everybody lived like that until I saw other families didn’t act that way. So I am super sensitive to immature, selfish parents that don’t treat their kids right.
3 months is about the age they can put their hand to their mouth
A two month old may try to eat or suck on whatever he is given, but he cannot pick up an object on his own.
I think it likely that a tongue fissure split, causing the cut on the tongue.
The bad parents haven’t made it bad for the rest, the reaction to the bad parents has made it bad for the rest. There is no excuse for beating (not spanking) a child. But neither is there an excuse for the behavior of the government in many of these cases; beginning with the assumption that the parents are bad.
I was whipped as a child. There were times I had welts. But at no time did I ever doubt my parents’ love. The only physical punishment was a spanking, never the things you describe...and I was a problem child. I was never knocked down or dragged or struck with the handiest tool or a fist - always measured, always the same strap, always told why I was getting the spanking(usually forewarned).
I understand your sensitivity, but it is wrong to try to punish your parents through other parents.
It may well be the cause. However, while both of you are using measures of normal development, they are not absolute. An infant instinctively grasps and tries to put what it grasps (usually someone’s finger) into their mouth.
It is conceivable that a two month old would touch and grasp some object that could cause the injury.
However, such an event is unlikely to go unnoticed, the baby immediately screaming in surprise and pain.
Probably a fissure split - but the immediate assumption of parental guilt is what bothers me.
The first assumption should always be that the parents want to care for their child properly; until proven otherwise. Good outcomes are more likely to result from working with the parents under this assumption to correct any problems or deficiencies.
Taking a child away from the parents can be deeply traumatic, and too often it seems to be done in a spirit of governmental self-righteousness instead of a spirit of help.
I am sorry but ignoring a problem because you are afraid that you will lose your kids to cps is abuse and very self centered. My guess is that you would be screaming bloody murder if you had dislocated your shoulder at work and the place you worked at refused to send you to the Dr because they were afraid of a workmen’s comp claim and a visit by osha.
Grasping an offered finger within the infant’s reach is not the same milestone as picking up an object and placing it in the mouth (that is more typical behavior of a four month old).
Sucking on an object within reach is a reflex behavior common to two month olds. Focusing on an object, picking it up, and bringing it to the mouth is not.
Any object a two month old could grasp would have to be explicitly offered by an older child or adult. Were that the case, since the couple in the story seem honest, they would be likely to tell the doctor “Older child gave Baby a _______ before we could snatch the object away. Baby started gumming the _______, which cut baby’s tongue” than to lie about it.
You weren’t *forced* to not take your child to receive proper medical attention, you *chose* not to.
Medical kidnappings are despicable; that being said, they are not an excuse to pray that a dislocation heals/resolves itself and avoid dealing with the problem. Instead of having the problem fixed the first time, you let your kid suffer through two more injuries before he received proper medical treatment.
“Instead of having the problem fixed the first time, you let your kid suffer through two more injuries before he received proper medical treatment.”
Life sucks, but you have to PLAY BY THE RULES - I don’t make the rules, but I WILL respond to them. Every time my kid ran a fever, we took him in - don’t confuse us with “prayer healers”. We simply feel that the BEST environment for our kids is with their natural-born parents. And in the end, we were PROVEN RIGHT...and no, that kid has NO REGRETS, he’s willing to take some pain to keep his parents.
Exactly. So perfectly said.
Social workers are upping the numbers to keep themselves in business, not doing what is best for families. Corrupt and evil, but not in all states...
“I am sorry but ignoring a problem because you are afraid that you will lose your kids to cps is abuse and very self centered.”
Not really...it was actually centered on the TRAUMA that my kid would have gone through if he spent weeks away from his parents. As an adult basically in control of my life, it would not be such a big deal for me (other than being worried sick for my kid), but with a kid, it is literally THE END OF THE WORLD.
So yes, a few hours of screaming on his part still is better on him than the alternative.
Ainsworth proved this but apparently some social workers are lagging in education.
Yet the authorities ignore cases of OBVIOUS abuse and 1000s of children die. This stinks.
Can’t take away kids from a black welfare mama; racist. Even if she has rolled over and killed one or two before, to even call attention to that is of course, racist.
Now, imagine a homosexual couple that adopts. Will any social worker ever dare to inquire about any possible abuse?
Not only will they not get involved, they will ignore bad situations in a homosexual home.
Some years ago, we (FD) tried to get an investigation started regarding a homosexual who had several heart attacks at a young age as a result of rampant cocaine use. Child Protective Services wanted nothing to do with it.
Maybe the baby was cut by a fingernail when it was sucking on the mother’s finger.
Mine tripped at the park and cut his forehead open. Stitches were needed but thankfully there were witnesses. He was constantly falling head first. A few months later, he fell busting chin open but no witnesses. Again, stiches were needed and I was so scared the ER would think it was my fault. Of course, they questioned him about what happened. Come on. Toddlers fall. Combine growing feet and large heads and you're going to have topples.
A cut on the tongue is a lot more suspicious on a toothless baby too young for crawling, falling or putting things in his mouth.
But once I sprained my son’s ankle by sitting him down too hard when he was capering around with his pants around his ankles instead of getting ready to go out.
I took him in to the doctor because I was afraid there was a break. Thank God the doctor did not file some inquiry on me.
when cps is investigating and they feel it is necessary for the child to not be in the home. in most states you can make arrangements for them to stay with other family members or family friends. sorry still think it was abuse ignoring that injury.
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