***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Twotone]

In a church on Sunday morning a preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar.”

With that, Leroy got in line and when it was his turn the Preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?

Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.”

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy’s head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, “Leroy how is your hearing now?”

Leroy answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ‘til Thursday.”

[a fool in paradise]

Joe Biden’s Greatest Gaffes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWlSX9TT2eo

[BenLurkin]

Good one!

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

[a fool in paradise]

"PLAY BALL!"

[BenLurkin]

[a fool in paradise]

Is it Friday yet?

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

I live in San Jose. We got that storm yesterday, and it gave us a LOT more than a tenth of an inch (over three inches, in fact). Didn’t stop the local news from sensationalized coverage, though.

No deaths or serious injuries from it, although there were some flooded buildings and freeways and several downed trees.

[ErnBatavia]

We locals hate those weekends; pretty much have to go on home-lockdown during the periods.

I just now was reading a piece on Uber-v-taxis, and it mentioned that the kids who booked Uber during those "peak" times, would get nailed for up to 600 bucks if they wanted to get the 30 miles back to Palm Springs.

[GSWarrior]

I went on a date with a beautiful woman the other day. She raises bees and volunteers at the zoo. I think she is a keeper!

[upchuck]

:)

[W.]

[CodeToad]

Code:

[a fool in paradise]

I went to the zoo today and asked if they had any talking parrots. The zookeeper said they didn’t, but they had a woodpecker that knew morse code.
—

If I was a zookeeper, I wouldn’t even bother putting anything in the Chameleon exhibit.
—
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions’ cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.

The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”

The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”

The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”

—
A zookeeper walks into a bar with an elephant and orders two beers. After a few hours and a few more drinks, the elephant collapses drunk on the floor.

As the zookeeper stumbles for the door, the bartender calls after him, “Hey! You can’t just leave that lyin’ here!”

The zookeeper slurs, “Tha’shnot a lion; tha’shan elephant.”

—

“Don’t worry, the duck will pay for everything. Put it on its bill.”

[Lucky9teen]

[a fool in paradise]

[Lucky9teen]

NOTICE: There are only 12 more looting and shoplifting days left until Christmas!

[CodeToad]

And people wonder why the foreigners are doing the coding.

[a fool in paradise]

Come over for some Heineken for the holidays.

[a fool in paradise]

Meanwhile, in Japan...