The 14th doesn't make everyone into corporations. It's a ridculous notion promoted by "sovereign citizen" wackos. There's no "statutory construction" that's going to make it say that.
Yeah, there is, actually - a lot. And it's been analyzed from the Supreme Court down, starting with the Slaughterhouse Cases. And treating people as corporations is exactly what it does - because if it didn't, it would contradict the previous parts of the Constitution. Starting with how, exactly did Lincoln "free the slaves" from the federal White House, when slavery was State laws? Answer: he freed their "corporate" persons - but to do that he had to implicitly claim ownership of them. That latter concept was what was later codified in the 14th Amendment.
I think you just like saying "sovereign citizen wackos." The problem is that people who think they are "sovereign citizens" are combining two contradictory terms. The People of the original Constitution are sovereign, but "citizens" of the 14th Amendment US are not. So you shouldn't compound the mistake by using it in your own argument - it just makes you look confused as well.