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“I really tighten up when I see somebody ahead of me in a cashier line taking the time to write a check.”

Well,then it would be best if you do not read what is below because it is real and you may not survive it.

Elderly lady in grocery line:
Lady: That can of soup is 2 for 1. You just charged me the full amount.
Cashier: When the second one is rung up the computer will make the adjustment.
Lady: Oh, I don’t trust those things.
Cashier: OK… that will be $49.22.
Lady: Show me where I got the soup two for one.
Cashier: Right here. After it rang up the second can of soup, you can see it deducted the same amount in the line below.
Lady: How do I know it was for the soup?
Cashier: Well, it is the same amount as the soup and it occurs in next line.
Lady: I should have been charged zero for the second can of soup.
Cashier: It works out the same. The charge and then the rebate, end up being zero.
Lady: But you charged me for the second can of soup.
Cashier: Yes, but then I deducted it here.
Lady: Why?
Cashier: I don’t know.
Lady: OK…….How much was it?
Cashier: The soup?
Lady: No the total.
Cashier: $49.22
(Lady has been in line for 5 minutes but now decides to find hand bag. Digs through, finds wallet. Fumbles with wallet, opens check book.)
Lady: Where are we?
Cashier: Detroit.
Lady: No not what state, what store is this?
Cashier: Safeway.
(Lady closes wallet and puts it on counter. Goes back into her purse and finds glasses and puts on. Fumbles with wallet and opens check book. Closes check book, opens purse and gets out a pen. Opens check book.)
Lady: What’s the date?
Cashier: May 20th.
Lady: M….a……y 2….0. Is this 2013?
Cashier: 2014.
Lady: 2…..0……1…..3
Cashier: 14
Lady: What’s 14?
Cashier: 2014.
Lady: Why did you tell me it was 2013?
Cashier: It’s 2014.
Lady: I’ll have to start over. V……O……I……D.
Cashier: You could have just changed it.
Lady: No, they would never take it. Then it would bounce and you would charge me.
Cashier: OK.
Lady: What’s the date?
Cashier: Still, May 20th, 2014.
(Lady looks at him with suspicious distain.)
Lady: M…..a…..y 2…..0 2…..0…….1……4. Where are we?
Cashier: Safeway
Lady: S…a…f…e…w…a…y. Safeway right?
Cashier: Yes, Mamma.
Lady: How much was it?
Cashier: $49.22.
Lady: $.....4…..9….2….2
(Lady opens up check register, begins to meticulously copy the check information into the register. But does not give the check to the cashier. She even performs the balance subtraction. Closes her wallet and puts it back in her purse. )
Cashier: Mamma …. I need the check.
Lady: Oh….
(Lady opens purse, gets wallet, opens check book. Hands cashier the check.)
Cashier: Mamma… this was the first check. It says VOID.
Lady: Oh…. I forgot to put that one in the register.
(Lady meticulously copies the information for the voided check into her register. Closes her wallet and puts it back in her purse.)
Cashier: Mamma …. I still need the check.
(Lady get out her wallet, opens it up, puts on her glasses and hands the check to the cashier. Closes her wallet and puts it back in her purse.)
Cashier: Mamma, I need to see your Driver’s License.
Lady: I don’t have one. I don’t need one. I ride the bus.
Cashier: Do you have some ID with your picture on it?
Lady: No, I only have pictures of my grandkids. You want to see them?
Cashier: No, that’s OK. Do you have anything with your name on it?
Lady: The check I just gave you.
Cashier: Anything else?
Lady: I have my water bill.
Cashier: That will be fine.
(Lady goes back into purse and pulls out crumpled envelope with water bill in it. Carefully opens it up and hands the bill to the cashier.)
Lady: See…… there’s my name. That’s me.
Cashier: OK, thanks.
(Cashier’s line has now grown to 22 people. Heads bobbing to the right and left to see what is going on.)
Cashier: I’m going on break.