So, you gots yourself a little problem with Bigfoot there in Provo. You all know me. I can take care of that Bigfoot problem for you. But that’s some dangerous work! And it will cost you. Send Marie Osmond to me RV with two cans of whipped cream and a feather duster. We’ll have some hot cocoa and clean the place up.
Are the Bigfoot in Utah Mormons by any chance? Are they plain LDS or fLDS? If they aren’t Mormons does the LDS in SLC have a plan to do outreach to them?
Inquiring minds want to know!