When the Malaysia Airliner drifted in between a UFO and Chinese interceptors, they accidently shot the airliner causing one engine to flame out and knocked out proper black box functionality.
The expert Muslim pilot jettisoned one engine, which he had privately rigged to protect his passengers (which is why the engine maintenance signals errantly sent a displaced location), but without that one engine, could then only maintain the flight by using the surface effect by flying below 100ft ASL using a modified pony engine.
It disappeared from all radar and he returned to his last known Islamic refuge, flying the Boeing like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove.
Islamic nuclear madmen, working in cahoots with SMERSCH, THRUSH, the Persian Office of Stratgic Tomfoolery (POST), the NORKORNUKEMALL Ministry, and other unnamed evil villains proceeded to arm the aircraft with atomic devices in asymmetric proliferation of nuclear warfare.
Several weeks later, Kume island, 90km to the west of Okinawa is struck with the evil laden Boeing, controlled by the evil Triumvirate of Taliban, POST, and NORKORNUKEMALL, as a demonstration of their powerful control.
By secret emissary, the Evil Triumvirate (ET), contacted Obama via Dennis Rodman and demanded the return of at least five most wanted criminals from the Guantanamo Bay Special Guest Holding Facility.
Under extortion of detonating another atomic device, positioned to initiate WWIII between China, the US, and Russia, the Obama Administration carefully considered several alternate courses of action, in response to the Taliban demands.
Release of several unshaven Islamic extremists appeared to be the best COA, as they also appeared as a Duck Dynasty Wantabe, or in their parlance, the Muslim Mallard MAFTAA (MMM).
Meanwhile, the released MMM are being tracked by drone surveillance for immediate execution, unless Bergdahl also becomes an MMM stand-in.
