A soldier's plea for mail from 1,800 years ago.
Poor barstid; I sometimes get mail from 1,800 years ago, but, then, the US Postal Service is notoriously slow in these parts.
Excerpt: “Dear Mom, Due to the goverment shut down caused by Senator Teddius Cruzamus we have had our food rations cut in half and we are not getting a resupply of arrows. I can only pray that we are home soon, as Caesar Barackus Obamanus promised when he was elected.”
Damn, even in those days the MSM spun every event so that blame could be placed on a man of the people rather than the deception of the executive branch of government.
Dear Wife, Please send underwear, socks and two boxes of condoms. See you whenever! ;-)
Camp Granada
Hello Mudda, hello Fadda,
Here I am at Camp Granada.
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Joe Spivy;
He developed poison ivy.
You remember Leonard Skinner;
He got ptomain poisoning last night after dinner.
All the counselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators,
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called “Ulysses”.
Now I don’t want this to scare ya,
But my bunk mate has malaria.
You remember Jeffrey Hardy,
They’re about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh Mudda, Fadda,
Take me home, I hate Granada!
Don’t leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh, please don’t make me stay,
I’ve been here one whole day.
Dearest Fadda, darling Mudda,
How’s my precious little brother?
Let me come home if you miss me,
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing,
Guys are swimming, gals are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that’s betta,
Mudda, Fadda, kindly disregard this letter!
1800 years latter and a soldier’s letter home isn’t realy that much different.