We just had our 50th. Wedding Anniversary party. I prepared all the food the kids served it , We asked that gifts not be brought, but several people gave them anyway, Mostly gift cards to restaurants.
The whole party cost less than a thousand dollars and we had a great sit down dinner for 140 guests and family.
Catering is just too expensive these days at $25.00 a plate, and that is what they call cheap.
$25 a plate would be a steel from what I gather.
My wife decided to host a wedding her daughter a few years ago. Against my counsel to just give them money as their relationship was troubled from the start, she spent about 25K for an affair for about 120 people. Frankly, I was not enthralled with her daughter and less so of her friends. The upshot is they are now divorced. We are far from rich and part of that money came from retirment funds, the rest from borrowing.
Aside from that story, the point is there is a whole industry of leeches out there from planners to caterers to resort sites who see dollar signs as soon as someone walks through the door with stars in their eyes. Those stars turn into meteors which hit them in the head a few days after the event. My advice is plan on small events and give money to form a financial foundation for the new couple.