“no, stop. being a white knight is never good. I get the desire to help her. The question is how to help her. The issue is enabling. If this is a one off then ok. Sit down and make sure the entire problem is known. It’s time to be father not bank, law not rug.”
You have no idea how much I agree with you. I have two sisters that got into similar trouble when they were young adults, and my parents rescued them. Long story short, nothing has changed and they are in their 40’s and 50’s. They still expect someone else is going to rescue them, and they try to make everyone in the family feel guilty for not doing so. “what’s going to happen to my kids?”, etc.
This needs to be nipped in the bud. You have to make her go through the pain and pay it off herself, so she can learn from it, or it is going to happen over and over, and you’ll end up having to pick up the pieces your entire life.
hey rwb you should repost your comment to VastRWCon, as he’s got the issue and your post is right on point. He needs to be reinforced so he can have the steel to do the right thing.