Posted on 07/06/2012 8:04:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway
SANDRA HOWARD asks the question that unsettles every woman whose husband is divorced
Years after their divorce, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner remained deeply in love. I saw for myself how abiding their mutual affection was when, one evening, more than a decade after they had separated, I joined them for supper.
Frank and Ava, the great crooner and the Hollywood star, were dining quietly in an unassuming New York restaurant and my first husband, jazz pianist Robin Douglas-Home, and I had been invited, too.
Frank and Robin had forged a friendship over a biography he had been writing of Sinatra. I was modelling for the Eileen Ford agency in New York at the time. It was 1962, a full five years after Frank and Ava had divorced when the four of us enjoyed that modest meal together. Yet what endures in my memory is the palpable chemistry that still existed between the singer and the actress.
Although he was married four times, Frank’s one great love remained Ava, and vice versa. I recall how they sat close together on a bench seat in that restaurant all evening, his arm draped around her shoulder, a proprietorial smile of pride on his face.
She was sinuous and elegant in a classic black dress: Frank once said she had the ‘easy grace of a tigress’. Although their marriage had been volatile, their love for each other never faltered. Ava, in fact, never married again. But Frank did: twice more in fact, and I have often wondered whether Ava’s successor, the waif-like actress Mia Farrow, felt undermined by the potent attraction Ol’ Blue Eyes felt for her beautiful predecessor.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
And we wonder why we are so miserably unhappy...
Know about sermonaudio.com?
Just been listening to Pastor Joseph LoSardo..”You Are the Man”. So perfect for today.
You never stop loving them, but when you remarry, you love the new spouse as well.
The love you had for the first wife is put in the background as a memory, just as if she had died.
She knows about my feelings, but not the post. And yes she does. She told me once that she knew she could never replace my first wife, but that she had the same feeling for me that I had for my first. I love her very much and we have had a great life together, but that doesn’t change history.
Not even close, my friend. Not even close.
It doesn’t really matter.
The vast majority of divorces
are instigated by the wife. So
obviously what the man feels or
wants was is and will always be
irrelevant.
Men love. The female of the species
lacks the intellectual complexity and
the emotional maturity required for
high level altruistic emotions like love.
Women are capabable of infatuation and on
occasion conditional affection. If the conditions
change the affection ceases.
When a divorced women says that she
never stopped loving the man that she
divorced that is code for “I made a mistake,
I thought I was moving on to greener pastures
when what I actually moved to was dirt painted
green”. Women only regret their divorce
decisions when the outcome isn’t the rosy
fantasy “eat,pray and love” bulls**t happy
ending they were banking on.
Yes. To the point that I haven’t even thought of my first wife in months and months until reading this thread, and it’s a very neutral recollection. I just don’t care either way.
I don’t know about men loving their ex-wives, but I uncategorically do not love my ex-husband. In fact, “love” is the very last thing on my mind on the rare occasions he intrudes upon my thoughts, regretting the marriage completely being the first.
Let’s just say that he was a newbie mistake of mine.
Gee, I’m sorry that all the women you know are like that.
Truly, we aren’t all that way. I didn’t divorce my ex for another man, I divorced him because of his behavior and attitude [redacted long, outrageous story of his destruction of our life together].
I was thoroughly traumatized about marriage and didn’t enter into another one for 12 years. I wanted to be sure that my husband was the right man for me, and waiting that long without youthful wool over my eyes was the best thing I ever did because it allowed our observation of each other’s compatibility and character. Both sets of in-laws were also observed and not judged wanting.
Hubby and I are at 32 years and counting. We love each other and have mutual high regard. I can’t imagine life without him.
Interesting post in light of your literary leanings Nick.
Hemingway of course never got over Hadley, his first wife, though he instigated their separation and divorce.
Fitzgerald never got over Zelda either, but not in a good way...pretty easy to argue that she hastened him toward his death.
I met my first wife on our first day of work. We began dating and were married before the first year was up. We had three children and were extremely happy, and almost never fought. She was my true soul mate. I lost her to the beast of breast cancer over ten years ago. Not long after I left MA for FL, I met a widow on line. We got married not long afterward. My new wife of ten years is an angel of mercy to me and I loved both of them dearly.
Thank you for your story.
You are a good and blessed man.
Continued blessings and happiness to you and yours.
Bump!
I say yes. What say you Nully?
Love doesn’t die. It is murdered.
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