Call your priest right away.
I would begin with calling Social Services. They have knowledge of resources that could be utilized to help this man, whether it be mental health programs or help with substance abuse or whatever his issue may be.
That way, you would be helping him without possibly putting yourself and your family in danger.
Before making a decision, a GREAT question to ask for your own sake might be, “Which of the shelter rules struck you as the last you’d be able to comply with...?”
This man most likely has an alcohol or drug problem. WHatever money you are giving is going to that. People do NOT end up under the bridge homeless in the US unless they are a) psychiatrically delusional and refuse help or b)they are drunks or druggies. There are plenty of places that will help him. He can get a job even with a felony on the books. NO shelter would turn him away unless he was drunk or drugged up. He has found himself some folks with a good heart to take money from
Funny you should be writing this when I was just talking about the down and out guy I ran into yesterday. In search of the perfect boba milk tea, we found ourselves deep in Little Saigon (Westminster, CA) and upon parking, was approached by a white guy (unusual for about 3 miles in any direction) around 14 years old. The spiel began as usual, “Ma’am, could you spare anything... hungry... etc” when I looked at him and saw such potential in his young dirty face. Deep circles under his eyes, but he wasn’t gaunt. He told me he was 19 when I asked, which made him more of a genuine down-and-out than the fakers we see in our neighborhoods, where their “begging pimps” would take that 19 year old and DEFINITELY have him say he was 14 to get more $.
I asked him how it came to this, and he told me stories of living with his dad who had schizophrenia, trying to get a job, bla bla. I don’t know if any of that was true. But he had a sweet young face, was polite, and met my eyes. So I gave him a big bag of “emergency nuts” that we keep in the car.
I also told him to stay clean and get himself in shape, enough sleep, etc. I told him I saw potential in him, even in acting if he were interested, because he looked so much younger and was the kind of fresh face they tend to cast.
His face has stuck with me. I know the hard truth is he was probably a druggie and all, but it’s a shame to see young people out there whether they chose the wrong path or were dumped there by their elders. I pray he finds his way back into society.
Bum Fights can make him a star.
There is a big market for that stuff on Youtube.
You are a kind man.
In my view, it takes at least as much wisdom as compassion to really help someone. As an earlier poster pointed out - your kindness may simply be enabling them to remain in destructive sin.
I think the first step is to learn all you can about him - particularly if there are addictions or mental issues. Are there other relatives nearby? Is he on public assistance now? Is he “on file” somewhere? Health issues?
All I can say is - maybe a path will become clear after that.
a lot of good good wisdom here already!
It is so sad that there are so many scammers out there.
I would hesitate to get him involved in the “social services” system. I think the government has been doing too much that the church should do. But it is hard dealing with an alcoholic/druggy/thief so protect yourself.
Check and see if there is a Places for People or organization like them anywhere nearby. Here in St. Louis they operate expressly to help people who are homeless and mentally ill/addicted.
Get a third party, preferably a private party, preferably through a private charity, to do the following:
1. Background check
2. Credit check
3. You have to get him to agree to see a doctor, preferably a primary care physician, or a mental health counselor. You also have to get him to agree to allow a trusted third party (also a mental health field pro) to have access to his HIPAA medical/mental health records. You either do this or you have to hand this off to the state or a private charity. You, and not you alone, for legal reasons, pick a few people in your study group to make a decision, decide on further action based on the advice of the attending physician and your 2nd opinion doc.
4. Get him a annual physical, pay for it out of pocket.
After you are done healing with his mind and body, start working on his soul.
i.e. A guy with a drinking problem and diabetes needs insulin before the Word.
He doesn’t want to use the local shelter because they won’t let him to come in under the influence.
What sort of shelter would you open? One where the residents can be high or drunk?
If he’s not willing to be sober for a night, he is missing step one. Why enable him to stay drunk? This does not help a man, it hurts him.
Vet him as if he was going to be your President. Check his story, all of it. Find out if he has friends. If he was living with mom then he should have plenty of friends in his neighborhood to vouch for him.
I have many years of working with the homeless. Do NOT let them into your home, especially if you have a family. Do NOT give them money unless it is done in a dispassionate obedience in the spirit, not from being swayed by a sob-story heart-tug.
There is so much money and help and food and shelter available to aid the truly needy 100 times over. That he will not avail himself of it is a big ol’ red flag.