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Kid Crazy: Why We Exaggerate the Joys of Parenthood (sick article)
Time ^ | March 4, 2011 | John Cloud

Posted on 03/08/2011 10:54:33 AM PST by dawn53

All parents know that having kids is a blessing — except when it's a nightmare of screaming fits, diapers, runny noses, wars over bedtimes and homework and clothes. To say nothing of bills too numerous to list. Some economists have argued that having kids is an economically silly investment; after all, it's cheaper to hire end-of-life care than to raise a child. Now comes new research showing that having kids is not only financially foolish but that kids literally make parents delusional.

Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don't live with young children. Parents are also angrier and more depressed than nonparents — and each additional child makes them even angrier. Couples who choose not to have kids also have better, more satisfying marriages than couples who have kids. (More on Time.com: 5 Pregnancy Taboos Explained (or Debunked))

To be sure, all such evidence will never outweigh the desire to procreate, which is one of the most powerfully encoded urges built into our DNA. But a new paper shows that parents fool themselves into believing that having kids is more rewarding than it actually is. It turns out parents are in the grip of a giant illusion.

(Excerpt) Read more at healthland.time.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: children; moralabsolutes; parenting
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To: dawn53
Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don't live with young children

And people with missing brain stems don't worry about their taxes as often as people with functioning brains.. So what's your point, Mr. Libertine?

41 posted on 03/08/2011 11:23:58 AM PST by Nonstatist
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To: dawn53

The writers of this article make the mistake of assuming that everyone is the same as them: self-absorbed, narcissistic dirt-bags.

It is not at all surprising that self-absorbed narcissistic dirt-bags do not find rewards in parenting. The rewards of parenting come from GIVING of oneself, and self-absorbed narcissistic dirt-bags only know how to TAKE.


42 posted on 03/08/2011 11:24:02 AM PST by WayneS (Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm. -- James Madison)
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To: Troublemaker

Raising my children has been the most rewarding a joyfyul experience of my life. Nothing else even comes close.


43 posted on 03/08/2011 11:24:22 AM PST by p. henry
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To: MrEdd

I agree. There is a strain of libertarianism that mistakes liberty for license and seems to view personal responsibility as a constraint rather than a precondition for an orderly and free society. For that reason, they tend to devalue life rather than celebrate it.


44 posted on 03/08/2011 11:24:44 AM PST by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: UCANSEE2
.... trying to justify not having any children because he's a homosexual.

No.

Because he is Promiscuous.

Nearly all gays are promiscuous, but there are promiscuous heterosexuals and they spout this same crap since parental obligations impinge not only on their own free time for sexual adventure - but parental and/or marital obligations on the parts of others reduce the available partners for their never ending lasciviousness.

Most of them hate God for creating a world not conducive to an eternal orgy, and they definitely strive to destroy the institution of the family - in order that there might be more playmates for their immature lifestyle.

45 posted on 03/08/2011 11:27:09 AM PST by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: KansasGirl
Congratulations, and I hope you enjoy a long lifetime of love and happiness!

Thanks. I plan on it.

46 posted on 03/08/2011 11:32:50 AM PST by justice14 ("stand up defend or lay down and die")
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To: Minn

There are a lot of people who don’t have kids you may want to think about that when you spout off thigns like you just said.I see many people in nusing homes who wait on their kids to come see them and they never come....so don’t be so sure!


47 posted on 03/08/2011 11:32:50 AM PST by chris_bdba
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To: dawn53
But a new paper shows that parents fool themselves into believing that having kids is more rewarding than it actually is. It turns out parents are in the grip of a giant illusion.

I got a paper.

It says liberals are the reason for all the problems in this world.

The fact that I have this paper proves that it's true.

48 posted on 03/08/2011 11:33:54 AM PST by dragonblustar ("... and if you disagree with me, then you sir, are worse than the Westboro's!" - Greg Gutfeld)
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To: darkangel82
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. :) I won’t have that Time trash in the house either.

Thanks.

49 posted on 03/08/2011 11:34:04 AM PST by justice14 ("stand up defend or lay down and die")
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To: WayneS

I think you make an excellent point, sir.


50 posted on 03/08/2011 11:39:05 AM PST by KansasGirl
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To: andy58-in-nh
There is a strain of libertarianism that mistakes liberty for license and seems to view personal responsibility as a constraint

Generally speaking, that not libertarian; it's libertine.

A libertine wants to have his fun and have other people pick up his garbage; whereby he collects (unpaid for) social security check, medicare expenses and so on. A libertarian would pick up the tab for his own expenses, long after he's done being socially productive.

In a "fair" society, it might do an individual some good to have children to look out for his interests later in life, instead of letting the State machinery (paid for by others) do it for him.

51 posted on 03/08/2011 11:39:46 AM PST by Nonstatist
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To: dawn53

Kids? What kids? There are very few kids now. Goodbye, public education and other left/liberal social experiments.


52 posted on 03/08/2011 11:45:03 AM PST by familyop (cbt. engr. (cbt), NG, '89-' 96, Duncan Hunter or no-vote.)
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To: dawn53

People never used to do all this naval gazing or ask all these selfish questions. They grew up surrounded by family that loved and served them and they thought of doing nothing but the same thing as they matured - giving love to others and serving others. They mirrored the behavior that they were raised with - service and love to humans, family — thus service to God. It was the default, just done automatically, like breathing in.
The results of a natural outflow of giving love and service to others were true love, joy, peace, contentment, etc - all that good stuff.


53 posted on 03/08/2011 11:46:50 AM PST by Esther Ruth
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To: dawn53

The worst day at work can be countered by a young son or daughter yelling “Daddy!” and running to you when you walk through the front door.


54 posted on 03/08/2011 12:00:18 PM PST by IYAS9YAS (Rose, there's a Messerschmit in the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?)
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To: MrEdd
Most of them hate God

And on that point obviously ignore the Scripture that over and over assert that children are a blessing.

55 posted on 03/08/2011 12:00:33 PM PST by dawn53
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To: chris_bdba
I see many people in nusing homes who wait on their kids to come see them and they never come....so don’t be so sure!

Do you seriously doubt that reaching the end of your life and knowing there's nobody to care, whether they visit regularly or not, is a pretty empty feeling? I visited all of my grandparents and one great grandparent in nursing homes and hospices as a child and an adult. Didn't enjoy it a bit. But you can be sure the family's existence was pretty important to the infirm and dying, even when we weren't there.

So you if you've chosen to be childless to enjoy the finer things in life without complications while you are robust, just know there will come a time when the world you have chosen has no more use for you, other than any money you may have accumulated.

56 posted on 03/08/2011 12:01:33 PM PST by Minn
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To: dawn53

If John Cloud is as miserable as he appears to be he should just pull the trigger now.


57 posted on 03/08/2011 12:03:37 PM PST by Altura Ct.
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To: dawn53

It basically comes down to:
You shouldn’t have children if you’re extremely selfish and if your primary concern is monetary gain.
Who’d have guessed?!
Thanks, Time! Thanks, “science”!


58 posted on 03/08/2011 12:17:11 PM PST by astyanax (Liberalism: Logic's retarded cousin.)
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To: KansasGirl
Nothing has brought more joy into my life than my children. There is no sacrifice I would not make for them. Most parents would agree.

Correct X 3. My wife gave up a well paying job (more than I made) when our daughter was less than 6 months old. She was on maternity leave for several weeks after our little girl was born. That was the best investment we ever made.

The author obviously does not have any children.

I read a few replies and someone pointed out that he is gay.

59 posted on 03/08/2011 1:02:45 PM PST by Arrowhead1952 (Don't let the SRM pick our candidates again.)
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To: dawn53
Don't have grandkids yet, but from what my friends tell me...it gets better still once they come along :)

Same here. I hear when the grandkids come and visit, you spoil them and then send them home as a "payback". :~)

60 posted on 03/08/2011 1:08:23 PM PST by Arrowhead1952 (Don't let the SRM pick our candidates again.)
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