[Thrownatbirth]

I swear this will save your life. Lasts for ten years!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/c399/

[bobby cep]

I lay out my bacon strip by strip on a big plate. Then, I fold a paper towel in half twice, and then using scissors, I cut an arc into the towel thus creating a circle about the size of the plate which I use to cover the bacon. I put the plate in the microwave oven, set the timer for two minutes, and voila, the best bacon in the world, and with no clean-up afterwards.

And for the guy with the fork who called the guy with the tongs a “wuss,” I use only my fingers to get the bacon off the plate. They don’t call me “Old Blister Fingers” for nothin’, ya know.