Why are you embarrassed? If things get as bad as some expect, then you at least will be able to put food on your family's table!
Trout Fishing in America by Richard Brautigan isn't really about fishing. Richard Brautigan was a "counterculture" writer that was very popular with young people back in the 60's and 70's. A bit like Samuel Clemens after a few bong hits. Long ago, in high school, and even while in the service. I enjoyed writers like him and Herman Hesse.