[Grizzled Bear]

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my gonads and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

[MHGinTN]

I tried that story once, with ‘chased a car and ran into a bus stop sign’ at the end.

[Alex Murphy]

I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.