So, you know of a few gay guys who are comfortable in their own skins. I wish more gays were like that. I actually know a couple of guys like that. Unfortunately, the vast majority are not. One who is married like Buttigieg and who wants kids with his “husband” is gay above all else.
Agreed there are folks who see their sexuality as their entire persona; but there are plenty who don’t.
We shouldn’t turn those folks away, or lump them in with the lunatic fringe.