Man admits to robbing bank to get away from wife

guns.com ^ | Jan. 27, 2017 | Jennifer Cruz

[PROCON]

A 70-year-old Kansas City man pleaded guilty to robbery in a Kansas court Monday, but he’s not afraid to go to jail. In fact, Lawrence John Ripple said the reason he robbed the bank in the first place was because he preferred to go to jail rather than go home to his wife, who was also in court.

Ripple is accused of robbing the Bank of Labor in Kansas City on September 2, 2016. After collecting cash at gunpoint from the teller, Ripple went into the lobby of the bank, sat down and waited for the police.

When officers arrived, Ripple apparently said he was the man they were looking for and admitted to robbing the bank after an argument with his wife.

Ripple faces up to 20 years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine.

[Califreak]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W0iA_rOcn9Y

(My Wife-The Who)

[dainbramaged]

She must be something special. My first wife was the test pilot for a broom factory. My second wife turned out to be the squadron commander. There won’t be a third.

[PROCON]

Dang it, Larry; I should know better than to call you on that.

"Lucido!"

[PROCON]

[Viking2002]

Well, as a disclaimer, I was a horndog of some local note who was living in D.C. in the 80's. I was a bad boy. Typical 80's head-banging hedonist with the swagger and hair. I had no oar in the water, I just went with the current and feasted on whatever was off my bow. My family said I had probably dated and/or shacked up with the United Nations by the time I was 30. Marriage was not something high on my personal agenda; I'd shied away from three or four at that point. But I'd met what I thought was a nice Turkish girl in the mid 90's, I was at loose ends as far as commitment at the time, so we shacked up and got married. Brother, there are some women who go full-on Jeckyl and Hyde when they get that ring on your finger. And then her MOTHER (AKA Coitus Interruptus) moved in for what was a two-week stay that turned into almost a year. I'm not sleeping on my own sofa while my mother-in-law borrows my bed. I packed up my bags, had a network engineer buddy of mine from the Pentagon come over to help me vacate, and I was tail lights on the horizon. I spent months bed-hopping with every college girl and frustrated housewife that drifted downstream to me until I met the current missus. Overall, she got my head and my keister rewired together properly. That's the thumbnail of it; I'd require a couple gigabytes to write each chapter. I'm just old, tired and lucky I can even pee on my shoes at this point.

[july4thfreedomfoundation]

If he would rather be in prison than at home with his wife, the wife must be a real pisser!

[DIRTYSECRET]

It reminds me of why I never married.

[wyowolf]

Damn.... you lived one hell of a life!!

[Viking2002]

You have no idea.

[TChad]

Will this guy even be convicted? If he made no attempt to get away, the money he “stole” never left the bank.

[tanuki]

The guys at his watering hole must be on the floor.

[PROCON]

Well Sir, if your real self looks anything like your FR emoji, I’m going to assume that all the gals you shacked-up with main qualification was their ability to read Braille...just sayin’

[Viking2002]

You know what they say......everyone looks good in the dark. It's when the lights come on that makes the difference. On both sides. I actually had a lady friend of the Semitic persuasion call me a brute once. But she didn't kick me out of her apartment for it. Quite the opposite, in fact.

[PROCON]

You're a gentleman, a scholar and an SOB, and that's a rare combination!

Good luck with your future fiction posts :-)

[Viking2002]

The only fiction is that I'm not any of what you described me as. In real life, I'm a cad, a scoundrel, and I have this little soft place in my heart for small animals, young ladies, and those in need. Oh, the SOB part is pretty accurate. I was voted the biggest prick of my high school graduating class. The Bluto Blutarski of my time. My buddies think I may have been the template. And I haven't gotten one dime of residuals for just being me. Spielberg owes me some coin.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Of course, Bluto did end up with Mandy Pepperidge... and a Senate seat.

[Neidermeyer]

Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

[july4thfreedomfoundation]

LOL! Me neither.