I vowed that I would never let another man raise my kids, and I've stuck to it. My parents divorced when I was six, and they played my sister and I like ping pong balls. Fortunately, my stepfather was a great influence on me.
My newfound interest in wine and viticulture has become an escape valve. Not because of the alcohol, but because I can get out of the house if I need to, and whether it's a winery or a wine bar, there's almost always someone to strike up a conversation with.
I'm extroverted in that regard, and I've learned that my daughter and grandson are like me.
There are times when my wife will join me, and she enjoys a good glass of wine, too. It puts us in a nonthreatening location, and enables us to change the conversation.
One bit of advice: be leery of middle aged women who've preceded you to that location by an hour or more. After their second bottle, they can become very "friendly." lol
I am touched by your reply. Made me cry. It is awful and what some others have said is amazing. But to those who say it’s easy to leave and kick them to the curb ... the onset is insidious. Then you have a child and get increasingly trapped. It becomes normal. It becomes a way of life. And it is easy to pick the same person again because it damages us (or me) to the core. It’s hard to realize that affection should not be withheld and that it is nurturing. Many abuse men with it. I have done a lot of praying and my counselor is a wonderful Christian. She has taught me that I don’t have to accept treatment but it is hard. Because these type of woman pray on men who are a little more sensitive and maybe aren’t narcissistic enough to believe we are anything but average. It has soured me on the dream that there is that woman out there who is kind and tender and romantic and a partner who wants to take care of me as a man with my emotional and other needs. And it scares me that I will never find anyone. So I setttle and repeat the cycle.