Perhaps I’m just cynical, but from my post-separation/divorce experiences dating women in their 40’s, the main difference between someone 25 and someone 45, is that the 25-yr old is crazy and the 45-yr old is better at hiding crazy and has 20 more years of emotional baggage and bitterness towards men.
(I’ve basically gone “red pill”/MGTOW. Given family/divorce court and the general anti-male direction this culture has taken, I’m no longer interested in marriage. I’ve mostly given up on women — I’m now pursuing only “relations” not relationships. I’m not bitter like feminists; I simply recognize the environment for what it is and have adapted)
A high percentage of the women in 40’s that I’ve met have alcohol issues. One was even passed out drunk on a Saturday at noon, when I came to pick her up for a movie for a 2nd date. (By comparison, I’ve consumed maybe 15 drinks over 5 months)
I can assure you that crazy or alcoholic do not exist in my world. Sounds like your picker may be at issue here. Having things in common and not plunging head first into relationships based soley on external appearances is helpful. I mean no disrespect, but enjoy your relations. BTW, I prefer the company of men and have also preferred them as bosses as well.