You forgot 2 - first, the AK-47 Assault Truck (that’s the newest AK - damn, but they have a pretty creative R&D Dept.!) and, second, the AK-47 suicide rifle, with the open end of the barrel points back at the user.
But you captured their complete stupidity pretty well.
Wonder where they got the pic of a 1970 Ford Cortina (Ford of Britain). The only British Ford car from that era that I recall sold in the USA was the Mercury Capri.