Do not wait one minute more. Meet with a lawyer who practices in the area of estates.
Talk to a lawyer.
I’m pretty sure that each person has to have their own will.
Your estate is complicated. Stop reading these posts—except the ones that tell you to get professional help.
Also get a power of attorney document and a living will signed.
Really—this is one thing you do not want to cheap out on. Save your kids from massive headaches, fights; and expenses.
Step one: Write down what you want in plain English...
Step two: Find someone you trust that you can discuss this with. Perhaps your clergy, perhaps a trusted friend, someone that will tell you the truth and help you clarify your feelings. Rewrite the document as needed
Step three: Then find a lawyer that practices in this area and have him translate it into proper legal language...
That’s a decision that only you & your wife can make.
Personally, I’d leave a token amount
My brother walked out on his wife and kids for a PYT and disowned our mom. Since then he ran the family biz into the ground along with our mom’s income and our inheritance. Mom has written him completely out of her will. It’s painful, but such is life. He made his choices. My sis and I will NOT be dividing what share we have with him.
Sorry for your recent loss, but yes a lawyer not FReepers, is what you need.
I would think that you would also have to consider the states where you and your children live.
Different states treat wills differently.
Example:
Louisiana:
No matter if the father who lived in Louisiana chooses to move out of Louisiana, the offspring who were born in Louisiana get half of the father’s/wive’s assets, period. That leads to legal fights.
As others have said, get a lawyer.
If you haven’t tried or do not attempt to try to reconciliate with your estranged son, I suggest you include him in your will.
Our dilemma is how to deal with the one Son who has chosen to exclude us from his life.
Do we exclude him totally, give him a token amount or treat him to an equal share?
I echo others, get legal advice of course.
But I would want to know, why did this son exclude you from his life. Is he out of control, on drugs, unable to think rationally?? Please discuss the reasons for being dissociated from your son with the attorneys, as you proceed.
Strip em down to their shorts, tie their hands behind their backs, take em outside to a tree stump, embed a Bowie knife in the tree stump and let them have at each other. Winner takes all.
Trusts can help avoid probate. Again, seek professional advice, from perhaps three places.
It is my opinion he be treated as equal, it is the right thing and also may save estate from being sued in the future taking a burden off the other children.
Did your son cut off contact because of the divorce?
I am dumfounded by the number of people that come to a political web sight and ask strangers for advise on financial,personal and legal matters.
Hire a good estate attny,YESTERDAY
Note that every state has different laws concerning your circumstances. Be sure that you get advice based on your states laws.
As to whether you should disown, that's a personal decision. Remember that doing so could create huge problems for your other heirs. Do you really want to put them through some protracted litigation? I've seen these lawsuits. They drag on for years and the results are never pretty.
I have a fair amount of expertise in this area. Probably way more than most other posters who have offered their opinions here.
My opinion:
Get a good lawyer who specializes in Wills and Trusts.
Just like pretty much everyone else here has said.
Don’t go for the “$499 and all you can eat” television hucksters. Your local county Bar Association is a reasonable place to go to a referral if you don’t know where else to start.
And don’t wait.
If you wish, you could further explain your decision and your feelings by providing a sealed, private letter to be given to your estranged son after your passing. I urge that whatever you do, you not take the will and any private letter as an opportunity to wound, cast blame, or offer justification for any ill will you may feel toward your son.
I suggest that if you leave a private letter for your estranged son, that you also leave private letters expressing your love for your other children. You do not want them feeling slighted.