Getting the mentally ill to stay on their meds, can be the biggest challenge.
Believe me I know! She says she doesn’t want a divorce. Her thought process is totally screwed up. It’s so bad that she even says good things about obama and islam. Since posting this article I have messaged the kids asking what they would do if I were to die in the next few days. I made sure to tell them that I have no plans on dying anytime soon!
I think asking your children what would happen to their mother, who would care for her if you weren’t around, is a good question for them. I don’t know how involved they’ve been in helping you, but the fact that you seem to be very close to your breaking point, should make them realize that they need to get more involved now.
I hope they understand the seriousness of your situation and step up to help both their parents.
...”I have messaged the kids asking what they would do if I were to die in the next few days. I made sure to tell them that I have no plans on dying anytime soon!”....
That suggests you might need guidance outside your children on the steps you need to take ‘from here on out’...and important you get that from professionals who deal with institutionalizing people for whatever duration...which appears you need to consider.
You’re obviously in a bad place yourself...and this will continue to repeat itself unless you break your own cycle that enables things to remain as they are.
All humans have limitations on how long they can endure caring for a loved one....it’s nothing at all to be ashamed of nor should you ‘measure yourself by what others do’ to endure.
Your wife is not just your responsibility but that two of your grown children, not only to her but to you as well in this difficult situation. Though you may not think you want to burden them. This does not exclude they’re “taking care of your wife” when it would give you time and space to “refresh yourself”...in order to maintain your watch of her.
If they are do not want to that is fine too...then you need to do what you decide is best for her and yourself. ..for it is you who determine the limits you are able to go...not others. She may be better off in a place that will understand and see to her needs far better then you might after so long caring for her.....
If someone has cancer, they shouldn’t have to wait until they have acute cancer and be dying in the next two weeks before we give them care...unfortunately that’s how we operate the mental health system today. So there are places now that one can research who have filled that gap...and this is where you need to look.
And remember ....Sometimes You Do Have to Say Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness.
...”I have messaged the kids asking what they would do if I were to die in the next few days. I made sure to tell them that I have no plans on dying anytime soon!”....
That suggests you might need guidance outside your children on the steps you need to take ‘from here on out’...and important you get that from professionals who deal with institutionalizing people for whatever duration...which appears you need to consider.
You’re obviously in a bad place yourself...and this will continue to repeat itself unless you break your own cycle that enables things to remain as they are.
All humans have limitations on how long they can endure caring for a loved one....it’s nothing at all to be ashamed of nor should you ‘measure yourself by what others do’ to endure.
Your wife is not just your responsibility but that two of your grown children, not only to her but to you as well in this difficult situation. Though you may not think you want to burden them. This does not exclude they’re “taking care of your wife” when it would give you time and space to “refresh yourself”...in order to maintain your watch of her.
If they are do not want to that is fine too...then you need to do what you decide is best for her and yourself. ..for it is you who determine the limits you are able to go...not others. She may be better off in a place that will understand and see to her needs far better then you might after so long caring for her.....
If someone has cancer, they shouldn’t have to wait until they have acute cancer and be dying in the next two weeks before we give them care...unfortunately that’s how we operate the mental health system today. So there are places now that one can research who have filled that gap...and this is where you need to look.
And remember ....Sometimes You Do Have to Say Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness.