I farted rather loudly at a dinner party once. The gentleman across from me said “How dare you fart before my wife” I said “Gee, I didn’t know we were taking turns”.
I went to a dinner at my GF’s house to meet her parents YEARS ago. I was nervous and during dinner her dog, Fluffy came up to me and was begging for food. I had to fart so bad, I kinda raised up on one cheek and let it go. The mother said “Fluffy!” I thought Thank you God! They think the mutt did it. A little while later I let another go and Ma said “Fluffy! Get over here!!” Before dinner was over I really let one go and the mother said “Fluffy! Get over here before he shits on you!!!”