Nothing to see here. Move along. Not an actual human being. Just a pothead.
You have a serious problem. Seek professional help.
I am serious. You are way too caught up in this.
Have you ever read the Psalm 37 that someone posted on your profile page? Here are some fun parts:
Favorite Psalm
Psalm 37
1 A psalm of David. Don’t worry about the wicked. Don’t envy those who do wrong. 2 For like grass, they soon fade away. Like springtime flowers, they soon wither.
7 Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.
8 Stop your anger! Turn from your rage! Do not envy others— it only leads to harm. 9 For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the LORD will possess the land. 10 In a little while, the wicked will disappear. Though you look for them, they will be gone.