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Noah – The Emperor’s New Movie (The Utter Embarrassing Mess of ‘Noah’)
Patheos ^ | March 28, 2014 | Barbara Nicolosi

Posted on 03/29/2014 5:59:41 AM PDT by NYer

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1 posted on 03/29/2014 5:59:41 AM PDT by NYer
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To: Tax-chick; GregB; Berlin_Freeper; SumProVita; narses; bboop; SevenofNine; Ronaldus Magnus; tiki; ...

Ping!


2 posted on 03/29/2014 6:00:03 AM PDT by NYer ("You are a puff of smoke that appears briefly and then disappears." James 4:14)
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To: NYer

I saw the movie last night, PATHETIC!


3 posted on 03/29/2014 6:01:46 AM PDT by diverteach (If I find liberals in heaven after my death.....I WILL BE PISSED!!!)
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To: NYer

Thanks NYer. Excellent and enjoyable review. It’s a great piece of writing. And, oh yeah, rock people.


4 posted on 03/29/2014 6:09:36 AM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas ( Isaiah 22:22, Matthew 16:19, Revelation 3:7)
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To: diverteach; All
There's a movie that's actually hitting the mainstream, GOD'S NOT DEAD. The best statement people who are fed up with what Hollywood does to the Bible and other religious themes would be to go to this movie this weekend instead of NOAH. The only statement Hollywood understands is the bottom line, and this very pleasant, decent, well done low budget movie making the big bucks has to be messing with their minds.

Plus, the movie is both thought provoking and incredibly good entertainment, all age groups, all beliefs.

5 posted on 03/29/2014 6:11:10 AM PDT by grania
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To: diverteach

I thought it was laughably bad. Just weird. It was so bizarre and confusing to me, I didn’t even notice any big-budget special effects. I just wanted out of the theater.

Have you read Erick Erickson’s review/summary? It’s funny and spot on. (Spoiler alert for those who wish to experience the awfulness first hand):

http://www.redstate.com/2014/03/27/darren-aronofskys-noah/


6 posted on 03/29/2014 6:11:19 AM PDT by Nickname
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To: NYer

Importantly, Hollywood releases two statistics for film performance, “projections” and “actuals”. Projections are open to manipulation, so if a movie is a stinker, they might boost its numbers to make it at least a break even.

But only when the actuals come out (which for Noah’s Thursday to Sunday gross will be on Monday afternoon), will there be any accurate account.

The next most important thing is how rapidly the film declines after its opening long weekend. This shows the effect of word of mouth. If it immediately loses all its juice, that again indicates it is a stinker.


7 posted on 03/29/2014 6:12:19 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (WoT News: Rantburg.com)
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To: NYer
I saw it yesterday and IF you`re expecting a fantasy adventure along the lines of Lord of the Rings then I suppose it may be of limited but some entertainment value, the blue screen sucks donkey!

Really bad effects for a major motion picture with the rock people, who are actually a bastardization of the Nephilim(spoiler alert: They are the Nephilim that got covered in rock on impact after nearly burning up on reentry to earth`s atmosphere). As an actual biblical account of the deluge, it is a joke!

The story line is about 10 to 20% along the old testament, there`s an ark, a guy named Noah, a flood, and two of every animal, AND THATS IT!

8 posted on 03/29/2014 6:12:57 AM PDT by nomad
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To: nomad

About as “Biblical” as Evan Almighty.


9 posted on 03/29/2014 6:14:58 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: diverteach

Its trending rapidly downward in the Yahoo ratings. Feel free to go give it a push.


10 posted on 03/29/2014 6:15:27 AM PDT by MrEdd (vHeck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: MrEdd

I see “Razzies” in its’ future.


11 posted on 03/29/2014 6:16:13 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: NYer

I often read the movie reviews on Focus on the Family and in this case for some reason, they didn’t tear it apart and reject it.


12 posted on 03/29/2014 6:17:04 AM PDT by hecticskeptic
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To: NYer

“- Noah chides his son for ending the life of a teeny wildflower. And then he cuts down an entire forest to build his ark.”

Environmentalism in a nutshell.


13 posted on 03/29/2014 6:18:05 AM PDT by headstamp 2 (What would Scooby do?)
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To: dfwgator

Well if they wanted a fantasy adventure loosely-VERY LOOSELY, set along the deluge story then do better effects! The CGI was crappy, IF you go see it pay attention to the contact edge with the “Rock People”, you can see a borderline, A BIG NO-NO in the effects world!


14 posted on 03/29/2014 6:20:07 AM PDT by nomad
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To: dfwgator

Bear in mind I love Sci-Fi, a MAJOR fan!


15 posted on 03/29/2014 6:23:05 AM PDT by nomad
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To: NYer

John Nolte on Brietbart also has a terrific review of this anti-Christian, anti-Jewish, anti-God film.


16 posted on 03/29/2014 6:36:25 AM PDT by LS ('Castles made of sand, fall in the sea . . . eventually.' Hendrix)
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To: NYer

Bttt


17 posted on 03/29/2014 6:43:02 AM PDT by Guenevere
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To: NYer

Don’t worry I wasn’t oing o see it anway nd just watch it when came out on DVD but after heaing your review it ain’t happening. I guess that’s what happens when a biblical movie is directed by an ATHIEST director. i’ve heard Mara Rooney and her hysband of the Bible Series were involved ih the movie. I had my suspicions about her when I saw photos of her with plastic surgery and open blouses down to her naval. No true Christian woman dress like that nir would her husband approve of it. Well at least we know to not endorse or buy anymore of their products.


18 posted on 03/29/2014 6:44:56 AM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: NYer

thanks for the post.


19 posted on 03/29/2014 6:45:26 AM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: NYer

Liberalwood can’t do anything right but they get an award for it Oscar sucks.


20 posted on 03/29/2014 6:48:34 AM PDT by Vaduz
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