Yaelle, Have you admitted to yourself that some mothers are reliving their lives through their children? From the beauty queen ranchers to the cheerleader moms to the moms under discussion, I would suggest revising your assumption regarding the goodness of motivations of some moms.
There are bad mothers. But having known some boys and girls lately with opposite interests, sweet innocent kids, I know that it is not always the fault of the mothers. A few decades ago, people blamed autism and mental illness on the kids’ mothers and parenting. And doctors told women that premenstrual symptoms were all in their heads, when now we know it is the incredible dumping of hormones that cause symptoms men couldn’t live through.
It is not pleasant to see kids with opposite gender interests, and it’s not pleasant to see kids with disabilities. But we have learned to share our love with the latter rather than shoving these embarrassments into institutions. Let’s learn to love The former, too. Children are innocent. You cannot blame a little three year old for wanting the girly happy meal instead of the boy one.