Messages from the Outer Darkness

[snerkel]

This thread is a place for those desiring to communicate with xzins (aka the xzins-master) via his chosen vessel -- Clear Channel Woody.

Please, respect all religions AND always say "please" and "thank you."

[snerkel]

Couple of questions:

1. CCWoody do you have enough bandwidth to channel to the xzins-meister?

2. xzins-meiste do you want to add any special parameters for questions?

[snerkel]

Ping. :)

[drstevej]

Clear Channel Woody:

Would you please ask X-M (the Xzins-Master) what great lesson he has learned in outer darkness? Thank you.

[drstevej]

Oops. pinging CCW to prvious post

[P-Marlowe]

Steve, if that's really you, show us a SIGN.

Burn my busom.

[drstevej]

Hey, where's the "Please" and "Thank You." The X-M demands politeness!

[CCWoody]

1. CCWoody do you have enough bandwidth to channel to the xzins-meister? ~ snerkel

Only when the weather is good and the sun is up.

2. xzins-meiste do you want to add any special parameters for questions?

Yes, you must sing "Kum-Bay-Yah"!

Your friendly neighborhood Clear Channel
Woody.

Currently broadcasting at 150,000watts.

[snerkel]

I smell something. WHEW

[snerkel]

Thank you CCW.

Kum ba ya, My Lord, Kum ba ya.
Kum ba ya, My Lord, Kum ba ya.
Kum ba ya, My Lord, Kum ba ya.
Oh Lord, Kum ba ya.

[P-Marlowe]

I just channeled this message from the X-Master. Luckily I recorded it on my X-M sattellite digital recorder.

Question from the X-Master to the Usual Suspects.

Anybody have an answer?

Was it the Morg?

[CCWoody]

Would you please ask X-M (the Xzins-Master) what great lesson he has learned in outer ~ drstevej

The great Xzins-Master has the following wisdom:

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."

Your friendly neighborhood Clear Channel
Woody.

[snerkel]

Thank you so much for the message P-Marlowe. :)

My response: I had a neighbor growing up that had an answer for every bad thing that happened. She would say, "It's a communist plot I tell you!" Maybe she was correct.

[snerkel]

Clear Channel Woody, would you please ask the great Xzins-Master whether those cows are dairy or beef?

Thank you. :)

[CCWoody]

Clear Channel Woody, would you please ask the great Xzins-Master whether those cows are dairy or beef? ~ snerkel

I have a message coming in from the outer darkness:

They are certainly dairy cows until they became milk duds.

Your friendly neighborhood Clear Channel
Woody.

P.S. See FRmail!

[drstevej]

C[lear] C[hannel] Woody,

Would you PLEASE ask X-M why Illbay got suspended? Is he a "weather" basher? I'm confused.

THANK YOU!

[Corin Stormhands]

Would you PLEASE ask X-M why Illbay got suspended?

Things that make you go "hmmmmmmm...."

[Elsie]

I can't quite put my finger on it, but it appears that SOMEHOW, my sacred beliefs and practices and lifestyle and underware are being mocked and abused here.

I need to get a message from the Great Antagonist, so I'll know how to foil you folks with the witty and bomb-proof logic that will not be seen here for a few days UNLESS I, the mere generic one, can focus his awesome powers through my fingertips!

--Generic LDS dude

[CCWoody]

Would you PLEASE ask X-M why Illbay got suspended? Is he a "weather" basher? I'm confused. ~ drstevej

I'm having difficulty today. It seems that the weather is not so delightsome.... Wait, there's something coming in now:

I'd forgotten what a lovable little fuzzball YOU are.
Everything you just wrote is of a piece with all the other cr*p you wrote in the early days of this tragedy.

Why don't you do the decent thing and just disappear?



---


Wow, that experience has left me emotionally drained. I felt some real bad karma on that channel.

Your friendly neighborhood notsoClear Channel
Woody.

P.S. The great Xzins-Master wants us to know from the outer darkness that he thinks I was channeling Budda last night. He also wants us to know that he is thinking about making a trip to Kuwait to interview the troops before the war, since he has so much free time.

[Corin Stormhands]

Bad karma gives me gas.

[CCWoody]

I have an official declaration coming in from the great Xzins-Master:

"Let them know," says the mighty one, "that I have gone beyond knowing and have myself entered into the peepstone. As they stare at the stone the eyes staring back will not be their own."

Your friendly neighborhood Clear Channel
Woody.

P.S. It is rumored, though not confirmed, that the President and Prophet, upon seeing eyes stare back, has called an emergency council of the Apostles to determine the best means of casting this meddlesome spirit back into the outer darkness.