Humor (General/Chat)
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There's an election coming up and Satan is a bit worried that Democrats are really going too far and will turn off the voting public. Satan really appreciates all the work they are doing to kill babies, destroy America, mutilate kids, genocide the Jews, and all sorts of other things he really approves, but they really need to tone down a bit for a few months. Oh when he said that everyone in the room went into a tizzy.
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Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) is issuing an apology for a comparison he made regarding the House of Representatives. On Thursday night, Americans were aghast after watching a drama filled hearing of the House Oversight Committee which featured several minutes of members lobbing personal insults at each other. In a post on X, Fetterman shared a CNN article about the moment and wrote, “In the past, I’ve described the U.S. House as The Jerry Springer Show.” “Today, I’m apologizing to The Jerry Springer Show,” he added. During the hearing on Thursday, Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) asked Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.)...
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Can you spot the Secret Service guys?.................
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Details were still being ironed out, but it was confirmed yesterday that the world could now look forward to another debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. While Biden's list of conditions to agree to the debate made the rounds on social media, Trump's list of demands was not made public… until now. The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of Donald Trump's debate demands: Benny Hill music must be played whenever Biden wanders around the stage: His aimless shuffling will be much more entertaining to the viewing audience set to "Yakety Sax." Moderators have to be smoking hot:...
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May 14 (UPI) -- A Florida woman out for her morning run came across an unexpected scene: a baby alligator beating the summer heat with a dip in a public fountain. Lauren Shrage said she and her dog were out for their morning run in Palm Beach Gardens when she spotted something in the water in the fountain next to the Mirabella community's entrance gate. She recorded video when she realized the object was actually a small alligator taking a dip in the cool water. "Are you having a good day?" Shrage asks the gator in the video. Shrage said...
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Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker delivered a powerful address espousing Christian values to a group of graduates at Benedictine College on Saturday. Now, the NFL is saying they disagree with Butker. In his commencement speech, the Butker blasted President Joe Biden for his pro-abortion stances, urged male grads to embrace masculinity, and championed the virtues of motherhood by telling female graduates there is no higher calling than being a homemaker. On Wednesday, in a statement to People, NFL Senior Vice President and Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer Jonathan Beane clarified that Butker’s values are not the NFL’s. “Harrison Butker gave a...
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The Honorable Terrence K. Williams pound his gavel on Stormy Daniel's Head
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — To avoid further embarrassment from bewildering and offensive speeches, White House officials have installed a breathalyzer on Kamala Harris's microphone. The decision was reportedly made in a closed-door meeting in which top administration advisers elected to equip her with a microphone that won't turn on unless she tests free of mind-altering drugs, and below the blood alcohol concentration threshold of 0.08%, "Hopefully this will help us avoid more disaster," said one White House insider. "We've just been going into these speeches blind. Everything will seem to be going smoothly, then all of a sudden she's up...
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FLATIRON, Manhattan (WABC) -- A new art installation in New York City that transports viewers more than 3,000 miles away to Dublin will temporarily shut down Tuesday to address some bad behavior. The installation, called the Portal, features two identical sculptures with a visual live stream connecting the two cities. It was unveiled last Wednesday next to the famed Flatiron Building.
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A sex attacker who tried to grope a female train passenger ended up losing his arm when a locomotive hit him during a scuffle with a crowd that came to the victim's aid. A 22-year-old man from Tunisia tried to kiss and grope a woman, 25, on a tram in the German city of Stuttgart in the early hours of Sunday, according to the federal police. Other passengers rushed to the victim's aid and left the train with her assailant at the next stop at Oesterfeld station in the city's Vaihingen district. A scuffle between the Tunisian, a second man...
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May 13 (UPI) -- A California man ordered by his city to conceal the boat parked in his driveway with a fence hired his artist neighbor to paint a photo-realistic image of the vessel in an act of rebellious compliance. Etienne Constable said the boat he uses for fishing was regularly parked in his Seaside driveway for about four years before he received a letter from the city informing him of a municipal code requiring boats and trailers to be "screened on the side and front by a six-foot-high fence." Constable said his initial reaction to the letter was anger,...
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U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which they say will occur between the hours of 10 AM and 5 PM, with an hour for lunch at noon with only some light snacking permitted from time to time. "We mean business!" said Princeton University student Jezebel Bashar. "It will be hard to eat absolutely nothing for part of the day followed by an after-lunch period of a few hours of not eating again, but we are committed!" On the first day of the hunger strike, protestors appeared visibly weakened with many resorting to emergency...
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I am watching the silly squirrels in my back yard. Why are they behaving that way? They throw themselves up in the air and flip over ... then squirm all around. They do this repeatedly
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BOULDER, Colo. (AP) — A Colorado woman’s attempt to steal a pickup truck — shortly after she was released from jail on a car theft charge — was thwarted not by officers, nor the truck’s owners, but by her inability to drive a stick shift, Boulder Police said. The woman had been released from jail on May 3 after being accused of stealing a car a day earlier, and walked down the road until she spotted a pickup truck with the keys inside. She then started the pickup, but apparently discovered she couldn’t manage the manual transmission, so she got...
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NEW YORK CITY, NY — Former President Donald Trump made sure members of the jury in the Stormy Daniels hush money trial knew the adult film actress was much much hotter when he first met her. "She was an eight or a nine back then, let me tell you," Trump explained to members of the jury. "Now she's a bit of a dog; Dogface Daniels, that's what they call her. But not when I met her, I would never touch a dog, not a dog guy. Not that I did touch her…but if I had…she was smokin'. Don't know what...
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