Posted on 01/30/2003 3:56:32 AM PST by hotpotato
Still Looking for Signs of an Opposition Party, Blix Says
A United Nations inspection team working in Washington, D.C. has requested more time to search for Democrats, having found “no signs of Democrats, a Democratic Party or a program to build a Democratic Party” in the nation’s capital.
“We have found no evidence of Democrats at this time,” inspection chief Hans Blix told reporters today. “However, the inspections are going well and perhaps at a later juncture we will, in fact, find a Democrat.”
According to information furnished to the inspection team, the Democrats began to dismantle themselves in the fall of 2001, when President Bush’s popularity was at an all-time high.
Further proof of the absence of Democrats emerged in the fall of 2002, during the mid-term elections.
While some point to the “Democratic response” to the President’s State of the Union address as a sign that there are in fact Democrats actively working in the U.S., Blix brushed off the speech by Governor Gary Locke of Washington as “posing no threat.”
“Since most TVs were turned off by that point, that speech, and Governor Locke for that matter, cannot be proved to exist,” Mr. Blix said.
But at the White House, press secretary Ari Fleischer urged the U.N. inspectors to continue their search, saying that there may be Democrats in this country who are remaining cleverly hidden, waiting for Mr. Bush’s poll numbers to drop.
“In 1992, everyone thought there weren’t any Democrats either, and that’s when Bill Clinton showed up,” Mr. Fleischer said. “We have intelligence data suggesting that there may in fact be another Clinton out there.”
**** BOROWITZ ON CNN FRIDAY MORNING ****
MKM
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