Posted on 06/16/2002 9:19:47 AM PDT by aculeus
The fur is sure to fly after a Nelson city councillor suggested residents eat cats as a way of controlling their numbers.
The bizarre idea emerged this week when the Nelson City Council considered a submission calling for it to start registering cats as a way of protecting birdlife in the city.
Several councillors shared the concern that birds were becoming less prevalent as the cat population increased.
"I've seen numerous cats with birds in their mouths over the last two months," Babbie Joyce announced.
Having been told a cat registration system was too expensive to administer, Jo Raine suggested the council instead encourage people to eat cats.
"I'm quite serious." People ate dogs in some places, she said.
Mike Cotton told the meeting that while living in East Borneo he experienced what they called a "dog day" when locals went round shooting all the strays.
"Maybe we could look at a cat day here," he said.
Planning and consents divisional manager Rod Witte said the council already gave $8000 a year to the SPCA to control feral cats.
Mr Witte said it would cost too much to register all cats.
It cost $250,000 a year to run a registration scheme for about 4000 dogs in the city and a residents' survey completed in 2000 showed there were at least 11,000 cats, he said.
"I couldn't support a cat registration scheme."
Nita Knight said the issue would need to be addressed nationally sooner or later.
"I don't think there's anything we can do about it at the moment except maybe encourage people to put bells on their cats ..."
Councillors agreed it would be a good idea to educate people about the problem.
Without question this is most outrageous part of the article. What a waste of money.
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"
The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
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What is a cat?
- Cats do what they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They are totally unpredictable.
- When you want to play, they want to be alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They expect you to cater to their every whim.
- They are moody.
- They leave hair everywhere.
- They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats.
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid.
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of what they call "pizza". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what it is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks to them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Louis Wain: 'For What We Are About To Receive'
Ken Hamblin suggested feeding the homeless to the hungry. Heartless bastard ; )ROFLMAO!!!
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