Routed at the all-important first presidential debate, Obama sought to vent his frustrations as his opponent catapulted to the lead in battleground states. Obama---AKA the Hush Puppy President---had to show he really did have strength and good talking points---and that he could actually dominate an intelligent discussion. "For crying out loud," Obama berated Michele, using debate-style assertiverness, "Is it too much to ask that you buy cheese that stays on the frickin' cracker?" Shell-shocked Obama campaign aides were more circumspect---some requested Michele get aerosol Cheeze Whiz to ease their post-debate cheesiness. As flop-sweating Obama aides waited for more suitable cheese,...