Free Republic

Dr. Nick Riviera?

The late Scott Adams (RIP) used to have a country named Elbonia in his Dilbert strips from time to time.

Probably, though it wasn’t an STI.

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don’t want no doctor to stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?

I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up and grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat

My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God, I probably got the gono-co-co-coccus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!

Why does it, why does it
Why does it, why does it hurt when I pee?

There are three Mongolian grills listed in Tucson, though I haven’t been to any of them yet.

Your story about your search for Mongolian BBQ reminded me of the old joke about the guy who gets mugged by two assailants with tire irons. After a fierce 10-minute battle, the muggers finally get their victim down and take his wallet, which only has three dollars in it. They ask him why he fought so hard over a mere three bucks, and the victim says, “Oh, I thought you were after the $600 in my shoe!”

Anyway, glad you made it OK.

It doesn’t take three years to open a legitimate grocery store. Probably doesn’t cost $30 million, either.

A lot of pockets are going to get lined.

A knot is a measure of speed, equal to one nautical mile per hour.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

I can’t even imagine what I’d have to go through here in Arizona to get a water well permitted and drilled on my property, nor do I know how far down the water is. A long way, I’d bet.

How many newts could a nutria tree if a nutria could tree newts?

Well, my front yard is mostly sand with some weeds (more weeds after a rain), but not because I fear being called a racist. Rather, it’s because I live in the Sonoran Desert, and don’t care to put in the expense and effort to maintain a green lawn.

There’s a guy about a mile away who keeps a very nice lawn and yard, but I’m glad I don’t pay his water bill.

I remember reading it in some anthology when I was a kid.

It was all downhill after Spike Jones.

Not super-apt, I’ll admit, just the first thing that came to mind. “Girliepoof”, maybe?

"DILLIGAF"?

Same here. Even before AI became so common, I used to assume that most videos on the internet were scripted, staged, or otherwise faked. Now it's practically a certainty that any given video is a fake.

I still believe what I see with my own eyes, mostly, sort of.

Yes it is, and in a good way.

I’d be for that just on general principles. A few strokes for the regular carriers, too, to teach them how to read addresses.

Kind of pointless after 99 years.

Marklar.