I had some fun with an OR nurse after I had major surgery several years ago. I awakened from general anesthesia and as soon as my eyes were open the nurse stated “You gave us quite a scare in there. You bled a lot and your blood got all over everybody. Will you give consent to getting checked for HIV?” From deep in my lizard brain bypassing ALL of my filters I said “Well, my boyfriend’s test came back negative last week so I should be OK...”
After her jaw hit the floor I started laughing and she did too. Best one-liner EVER!