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Actually, the HyperPreterist will maintain that Matthew 13:40-42 has already been fulfilled in the "new heavens and earth" that are in the "new covenant church". Saddam is not in the church, and the saints only die physically (which, to the HyperPreterist, doesn't really "count" as death).

A very excellent understanding of my point of view which is why Woody's Saddam example is moot.

But aside from the eschatologically false (imho, ridiculous) notion that the Second Coming of Christ and the furnace of fire have *already happened*, I do have a side-question:

It is not so rediculous when you consider that Christ Himself said it would happen within that generation and the Apostles taught it as so, as if they themselves were at the crux of the transition of ages.

False Doctrine is an Offense. All "offenses" have already been alleged to have been burnt out of the "new heavens and earth" (i.e., the new covenant church) So... why isn't the entire church hyper-preteristic? If HyperPreterism be true, and the "new heavens and earth" have come... why is HyperPreterism still roundly anathematized by the Church?

Outstanding question.
Remember, the preterist believes the prophecies and parables are referring to a specific time and people in history.
Christ sowed the Word, the disciples tended it, but the Jews who persecuted and taught false doctrine during that time were the tares. They pressured them to return to judaism (Galatians), they left the church and preached false doctrine (1 John, Jude) etc.
These men and those Jews were going to be judged in the end of the age.
What age?
The age of the Old Covenant which was ending (Heb 8:13).

False doctrine today is only a notion.
"No man will teach his neighbor, Know God, for they shall know me, from the least to the greatest."
Those who rely on the counsel of men over that of the Word itself and the Holy Spirit will answer for themselves. Those who teach them may answer for their pride in taking an unappointed (by God Himself) leadership role and teaching falsehood with assumed "authority".

I do not do that. I may be wrong in my OPINIONS. But I have no authority to tell you I am right and you are going to hell because you disagree. What I do have is the right to "work out for myself my own salvation in fear and trembling." I answer to God and His word. I believe what I believe because it is in His word. And I share what I think I know.