I know they have a address book with people's names in it.So do JWs...
If you have cable TV, there won’t be much on to watch.
If there isn’t much on to watch, you will answer your door whenever someone rings.
If you open your door, you will see mormons.
If you talk to mormons, they will trick you into “praying about whether something is true”.
If you rely on your feelings, you may become a mormon.
If you become a mormon, you will have to wear magic underwear!
If you wear magic underwear, people will immediately label you as a cultist.
DON’T be a cultist!
Get DirectTV.
Don't sell your hair to a wig shop. Don't fall into a dinner party. Don't get body slammed by a gorilla. Don't reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen. Don't become a local fisherman they call big fatty face. Don't have your house explode. Don't have a grandson with a dog collar. Don't wake up in a road side ditch. Don't have your dad get punched over a can of soup. Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Schiffley. Don't chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal. Call diect TV. 😀