My daughter is very concerned about it herself. I know she has reservations ...but she and this kid really seem perfect for each other — at this point. It’s a real shame. He 100% respects her Catholicism, but doesn’t usually accompany her to Mass. He has been known to do it, but not regularly.
If they end up marrying, I will only be able to pray for his conversion. She knows it’s all problematic. I feel badly for her.
However, we sent her to a very reputable Catholic University ..and who does she pick out? The ONE atheist/agnostic kid on campus!!! He’s a very good kid, though, and treats her like a queen. I am so torn.
Our situation is a little worse. But I’d rather not get into it. Suffice to say sounds like your daughter has had good judgement so far and the pre-Cana counseling if they get it I’ve heard it is quite good. If they at least start talking about this issue that’s a very good thing.
About your being torn over your daughter dating a non-Christian:
I did this 30 years ago. My husband had to sign a paper stating he would raise all our children as Catholics and he had to promise he would never impede me in passing on the faith to them. He not only kept his promise, he worked and slaved and sent them all to 12 years of expensive Catholic school education without a word of complaint.
The way the priest explained it to me is that it is a valid marriage, but I am taking the sacrament of matrimony on myself since God has to be part of a sacrament. We had a wedding by a priest in a Catholic church, but no Mass. It was me who made the vow to God that I would live the vocation of a sacramental marriage. My husband was just making a vow to me.
What I would, and did, tell my daughters is this: prepare for a very long, lonely spiritual life. I have gone to Mass alone since my children grew up and moved away. I can’t talk to my husband much about spiritual things because he doesn’t understand. We can’t pray together in times of crisis or joy. He doesn’t experience Christmas, Easter, or Lent on deeper levels. It is very difficult and lonely to go your whole adult life spiritually separated from your spouse. Also, studies have shown that children often follow the religious practices of their fathers, so your daughter needs to know that it will be an uphill battle to pass the faith on, and have it really stick, with her children. Two of my three children married agnostics like my husband. Only one is married to a Catholic. And now I get to worry over the souls of grandchildren.
That being said: my husband is more Christian to people than most Christians I know and has always been respectful, if remote, about my faith.