Skip to comments.SciFi Writer, John C. Wright, Enters Catholic Church at Easter Vigil (conversion story)
Posted on 03/26/2008 11:16:26 AM PDT by NYer
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Now that I am a Catholic
First question: Where does my new name go? I am John Justin-Martyr Charles Wright? Or does it go after my middle name: John Charles Justin-Martyr Wright? Do I use the whole saint's name (Justin Martyr) or only his Christian name (Justin)?
Someone call the Pope and ask him.
Next question: suppose I want to be an albino assassin flagellant from Opus Dei, sent by the magisterium to separate (or "incise") the familiar spirit of science fiction author Phillip Pullman from his daemon, effectively robbing him of his humanity, before turning him over to the secular arm, but an opportunity arises to dirk to death the girl-messiah known as Aenea from the planet Endymion, marked for death by the Cyberpapacy. How do I reconcile this with the Christian injunction to turn the other cheek, and the benediction that blesses the peacemakers?
I have heard my whole life how corrupt and superstitious the Catholic Church is, so, now that I am in, where do I sign up? I'd like to start with Simony. Can I buy Church offices wholesale, and then sell them through retail outlets? What are the tax implications?
Third question: why are my favorite authors, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Gene Wolfe, Mike Flynn, G.K. Chesterton, all members of this monstrous Syriac cult known as Christianity? I do like my freethinker authors just fine, but Bob Heinlein, Ayn Rand, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke seem to have trouble with realism in characterization, both with their invented people, and with their invented societies.
Don't get me wrong, I love their books, love and reread them many times, but the people who don't believe in souls don't seem to be able to portray their characters three-dimensionally and solidly, that is, as if their characters had souls.
Mark Shea Explains it All
These kinds of How-do-I-become-a-successful-Opus-Dei-assassin questions are what mystagogia is for.When do I get access to the Vatican library of Porn? I want to see the risque centerfolds painted by Michaelangelo of Lucretia Borgia. I hear she was a real looker.
Now all I need is my secret decoder ring, my assassin's strangle-wire hidden in my rosary, a Guy Fawkes mask, a pair of sanctified rocket-boots, and a shotgun whose stock contains a relic of St. Barbara, an armored Popemobile, and I am all ready to fight supercrime and heresy wherever it appears! Deus Vult!
I just hope the omnidroid created by Richard Dawkins in his secret volcano-base on Skull Island does not find me before I can swallow the Secret Power Bread that is the source of my strength! I carry a pellet of that bread in a secret compartment in my crucifix-shaped switchblade-throwing-star.
I just hope they don't ask me to pray, repent and confess my sins, live purely, or tithe to charity or anything. I would hate to join a demanding religion. Whew. Glad I dodged that bullet!
When do I get to meet the monk from Q division who makes our weapons?
Tag for later
God rox another atheist, home to His catholic church.
9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
BWA=ha=ha=ha=ha=haaaa! Love it.
Thanks for the ping. His conversion statement is very well written.
I often think of Walter Miller's 1960 novel, A Canticle for Leibowitz, which is now forgotten but I believe to be very important still. One thing that I remember is that people were not allowed by the Church (which is the basis for the story) because there was a part of these monsters that was still human.
What I meant to say was: not allowed by the Church to kill these mutant monsters spawned after the nuclear attack (which is the basis for the story)...
This is absolutely marvelous! How wonderful, and how wonderful of you to post it for us to enjoy!
I’m going to have to go read the blog. I laughed out loud!
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I think Gene Wolfe is really great, I recommend any of his books.
Can you clarify? The people were not allowed to do what?
Tick tick tick
Awating the inevitable “If he joined the Catholic Church he’s still going to Hell ‘becasue they are apostates, yada, yada, yada...” from a certain segment of the readership
tick, tick, tick
ping for you too.
right on the money there, my friend.
Wonderful story. Thank you.
It’s so enlightening and uplifting for those of us who are cradle Catholics to know the extent of the philosophical and theological journey that these folks go through in a hostile environment.
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